I gotta say it sort of really bites at 45 years of age to be living with ones YOUNGER sister. Not a real ego boost. However, I am thankful that I have her.

It’s tough for her, I mean, I’m her older sister and I’m invading her turf. Were doing well though, considering some of the backseat bickering we did growing up. We’ve duked it out on occasion or two; sisterly love at it’s finest. We’re friends now though. Sisters and friends. She pisses me off as much as I piss her off, but we deal with it without going in to full-out battle mode. One of us usually just keeps it buttoned. As Grandma would say “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”. Anyways, we’re grown ups,  I love her and she has a fantastic little family.

My nieces are fascinating young girls. Really amazed, almost every day at those two little girls. Not so little anymore, at 8 & 11? Good god, I should know that. Good Aunt I am. I’ll have to ask my Lil’Sis.

I don’t have kids. Had a stretch in my early twenties where the clock was tick-tocking, but it’s dimmed significantly. Like, to the point where I can’t hear it at all…I think the battery died.

I love my animals. Irish and I have really bonded. It’s going to be rough having to go off to work everyday, and leave her alone. I’ll miss her as much as she’ll miss me. I wish I could somehow figure out some way to work from home, even just part-time…or I don’t know. That’s what I’m trying to figure out.
Nice place as it is, wonderful to be with my family, to be back here at the Homestead. I’ve always been the “away daughter”, as Aunt Penny has always called me. I’m the one who left at 19 years of age to move in with my girlfriend. Not a “by your leave”, but a “Mom, I am moving in with Clare next weekend”. Nothing wrong, I love my family, but I wanted to be independent. I wanted to go, I was ready.

Broke their heart. Both my parents talked about it for YEARS. Old subject in our household. All families have those I suppose. The round of crap you like to dredge up every once in a while. Nothing big in our household. Lil’Sis pop-canning the friends Winnebago when she first got her license. Oh, the time she wasn’t suppose to be at the Homestead because Mom and Dad were in Florida, and she got caught with 14 of her friends all hiding throughout the house – with the cars all parked in the driveway. I think she was 18. Oh, me coming back to our cabin when we were on vacation pissed fricken drunk. Dad told me I was “grounded for life”. Mom’s like “J, you can’t ground her for life, that’s stupid”. Lil’Sis is in the other room having spasms she’s so happy I’m getting in trouble.

Lil’sis was under some kind of belief for years that Mom and Dad thought I was perfect. Well, we’ve sunk that ship now I think.

Independence has always been important to me. It’s my thang. I need my alone time. I need to re-group and catch a breath. Re-energize my batteries away from people. I find the world sometimes overwhelming. It drains me. As an introvert I’ve learned to accept that as part and parcel of being me. So this stretch is going to be difficult to stomach, psychologically.

I am lucky that for most of the day I will have time to myself. Everyone is normally at work and school. However,this week is March Break and I’m spending some quality time with the girls.  THAT makes me alittle nervous. They are incredible though. They’re sweet girls. Sweet girls that play hockey, mind you. I don’t underestimate them. They play hard when they’re on the ice. They both LOVE hockey. Girls today are so much more confident and seem to have a real sense of themselves.

There are alot more pressures on them though. Pressures to do with body image especially. Something that didn’t even enter the picture when I was their age.

It’s just nice to have the opportunity to see them, spend time and hang out. Haven’t had alot of time for that in the last few years, so I’m due for some good ol’ one on one. Maybe they’ll have some stuff to teach me.