Originally my plan had been to have her fixed this fall with my bonus money. Well, no job, no bonus money, no fix. So, off into that growing pile, like all the rest of it, like my no good rotten horrible teeth. No idea how this will all work this year mom, my teeth, her, and all. So lil Ms Pika-lou-lou started her first heat … Continue reading The Return to Innocence, Poopy Cramps, And Other Stuff
Lately I’ve found myself just scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, reading, processing, ignoring, walking, eating, drinking tea, smoking my cylinders of sin on the stoop in the garden, not having one single clue, what to do, either next, or never, or while I wait, or if I should wait, or what to woo. What to do? Teeth on hold, life on hold, everything uncertain, and my mind … Continue reading Whilst Waiting For T-Stain And The Sycophants And Their Evil Plot To Destroy Me
Dentistry Department at the University finally called, and my appointment was cancelled, as expected, they are still closed, non-essential. It was just for the consultation, but it was a step forward. Finally, I think it has all fallen into place, and 2020 walks in, says… not so fast… you’re on a time out for some indefinite period and left with your crappy teeth. Oh, good … Continue reading Can We Just Make Dystopian Hellscapes Fiction Again?
After washing my underwear in the sink, which BTW mom is very satisfying, and by doing most of my laundry in the sink on an as needed basis I don’t have to see people. WINNING. Now I shall spend the rest of my day daydreaming on the stoop, or we will. Yesterday spent the afternoon out there, watching Pika poke about all the things that … Continue reading A Strange Kinda Freedom In Lockdown, And A Puppy Dog On Guard For Me
The days now kind of just melt together, and I lose track of what day it is. Weekends have meant very little for some time, but now day and night have become interchangeable, merely long stretches of waking life, interspersed with long pauses for sleep. Mornings, try as I might to stay up later, well, mornings happen way too early. My schedule is all whacked … Continue reading So Mom, Let Me Tell Ya Bout The Great Arachnid Hunter And Other Pleasing Anecdotes For Fear
Blissful hermit isn’t exactly the way I’d describe my confinement, and any suggestion of that I may have given is bull poop on a Popsicle stick. As you well know, panic, anxiety and depression runs rampant throughout our family tree, on both sides of that 49th, twisting and tying us in knots, though some of us more than others. So, for me, keeping this anxiety … Continue reading A Letter To My Dead Mom Where I Tell Her About The COVIdiots And How I’ve Learned To Cope With Lockdown Anxiety
For months before my location closed and that part of my life ended, oh, how I had craved for some time to myself, to be the hermit again, relish my introvert, soothed by solitude. Now I find that I am sleeping longer, and this cocooning has been my guilty pleasure. As such my days have not changed all that much. I mean, I’ve languished in … Continue reading Between Panic And Calm, Love And Loathing, Us And Them, Healers And Hoarders, Is My Chihuahua
So, um, this morning sucked. Had almost a complete and utter breakdown. I mean, the morning till that point had been fine, talked to Lex for a while, she updated me on dad and MsB. All’s good. Well, good as can be expected. I had set up this app on my phone to pay with, rather than using my actual bank card, so I didn’t … Continue reading I'm A Zen Master Of Isolation, But That Line Between Sanity And Madness Can Be Kinda Thin Right Now
Gnash my teeth, if I had any left, seething rage, as I watch the number of positive tests for the virus tick up, and deaths mount across the land, and thousands are going to die needlessly because of the inaction of one man. Incompetence, or evil, same difference, whether with ignorance of intent, the dead will still be dead. Then last night the news hit … Continue reading The Heartbreaking Reality Unfolding Down Yonder In The Land Of My Birth
Over the last 48 hours, I have gnashed my teeth in rage at some peoples utter and complete ignorance, and had tears streaming down my face at the courage and heart of the human experience. So mom, things have changed a bit since I wrote you… what… 2 weeks now? Or, maybe its more that perception has changed, as we are globally now facing a … Continue reading Panic, Pandemic, and The Fifth Letter To The Prettiest Girl In Town
Whilst tapping the proverbial foot, I await this thing I have avoided for over a decade. Queued, with no particular place to go, I await this call that will determine the date of removal of what remains of my shoddy munchers, as I dream of the day my teeth no longer make me look like a homeless crack whore. Then go out and get the … Continue reading At The Age Of Giving Zero Fock-A-Roonies, And How I Got Here – the 4th letter to the prettiest girl in town
At some point I came to this conclusion that the universe, or my sub-conscious self, or whatever, well, it musta had plans for me. There was this thing I had to do, a place I had to be, a mindset maybe, because over and over whenever I had thought I had found the way, the career, POOF. Every time, without fail, the contract ends, the … Continue reading The Sunday School Teacher Who Raised A Heathen Fool ~ Letters To The Prettiest Girl In Town ~ 3
Once again, I make plans and the universe laughs its arse off… you really thought it would be that easy? That simple?… and erupts into a maniacal howling convulsion. Have often thought that perhaps all the decisions we make, the good, the bad, and even the downright ugly, coalesce into one giant hand, and slap us up side the head, knocking us off our path, … Continue reading And This To Shall Pass, Like Kidney Stones ~ Letters To The Prettiest Girl In Town ~ 2
by PaulaB 