Didn’t really feel like writing anything today. Didn’t think I wanted to. But I’m bored stiff, so why not. I’m going to copy today the next entry in my saga with Tim.  To summarize, this journal was written over the course of 2 years. It records our experiences, and my reflections, on our journey with Tim’s Pancreatic cancer.

BUT, as for today….More rain. More blawdy rain. I think its been raining maybe a week straight now. I should probably check the basement, Tim would have. That’s for tomorrow’s list.

Poor Irish. She’s our furry monster. Our good friend Jessica (our dog-sitter too) calls her the fluffy b@$tard. She herself has two wonderful old Pitbulls, Cyperus and Roxy. But I’ve been ignoring my poor shnog-n-dog. I have to say though that she too has been sad. We both are. Sorta feeling kinda blaw, I suppose. This dang rain doesn’t really help any. Had the opportunity to walk (break in the rain) but we decided (“we” as in the royal we) to have a nap. Irish snores, jerks, and clogs my nose with her fluffiness. Yet, all in all we’ve really worked it out; now that it is just the two of us. I wish I had a pic of the three of us together. Em. Why didn’t I take THAT picture. She’s a good girl. Good listener, and a real good companion. She showed up at our door 2 years ago, on Jan 1 2010. She had got lost in the snow. Her royal fluffiness showed up at my window in the kitchen, COVERED in snow…and she had me. I was smitten. We had her for 3 days before we found her owner. THANK the powers the be that they couldn’t keep her. The son was allergic and had spent almost 2wks in hospital. So, when this entry was written (below) we had her almost a year. I’m so glad she ran away to our lake. We needed her. Thank you my Irish Rover.

I’m going to put my comments in ” { } ” so you know this is from me today.

Well, here goes the next installment.

December 21 2010
“The true physicians soul can not be too broad or gentle”
from ‘Cider House Rules’ by John Dunne {gawd that was a great book – its a read-again type.}

Tim’s hopefully coming home. It’s also the winter solstice. Irish is out enjoying the snow, and the “woodsmen” just cleaned our roof, but he left. I thought he was also supposed to do the deck. Em. Its 7am and I’m waiting to hear from Tim. Waiting for him to call and tell me whether or not he’s being released from Hospital. He’s got me worried. He sounds like he’s distracted and he’s being a little vague with details. Maybe its nothing. I won’t know more though TILL he gets here. SOOOOooo I get to just wait and try hard not to worry, too much.

Irish is now lying in the snow on the upper deck with her paws on the first step of the octagon deck below. What a goofball. Waiting I guess, like me.

Friday December 24 2010 ** CHRISTMAS EVE **

Christmas Eve at the cottage – 1st Christmas with Irish. Maybe Gizmo’s last {it was, she died in my arms @ 20yrs Feb 14 2011).  There were a few flurries today, but really mostly clear and mild next few days. Maybe will have a bonfire tonight :-) Wow, a fox just now ran across the lake to the neighbours dock….right past the beach.  {note says “see photo” I can’t find it, but I’ll go through again and if I find I’ll add later, somewhere}

Beautiful Day today. Sunny, few clouds and every now & then a sprinkle of snow. Of course more snow.

Friday December 31 2010 ** NEW YEARS **

We’re melting!!!! Little nip of the O’Casey’s Irish Cream in the coffee this morn. Nummy. Irish has been out barking and playing on the remaining snow. Didn’t want to come in. Can certainly see the Great Pyrenees in her now. Going to cook me up some beans I think for tomorrow. Put a little ham hock, simmer them all day…..emmmm tummy’s growling. Maybe some black-eyed peas? Butter Beans? Black eyed peas I think are traditional in the south on New Years day.  That southern girl in me does like to have herself some good ol’butter beans though, with lots of cornbread. Not a good thing maybe for Tim though. ;-(

Saturday January 8 2011
Frost on trees this morning. You know, I just wish he’d quite with the BS. I know more truths than he thinks. He thinks he’s so clever sometimes. But I know. I’ve known from the beginning, …. that….my my, where do I start. Anywho. I know … and I don’t care. What I care about is his insistence on giving me his fecal matter excuses. He was not working in November, or whenever it was, when I came back. Why? Why can’t he just GET IT? (see October 2010 – Going Home & Back again) I just want the truth. It will set him free. Or, at least that’s what they say.

NEXT:  Doctor’s Make Mistakes | January 12 2012
See Also: The Mount  |  Thameswood Part One + Part Two | “To Thine Ownself be True” plus Suitcase for Memories – early Journals 1985+