I was recently wondering, and not for the first time, where I would be now if I had not met Tim. Back on that Thursday, October 3rd of 2008, what would be different now? At the time I was a sad, lonely cat and wondering which way to turn. I did not like what I was doing any longer, much as I LOVED the people I worked with, I had come to not really like inside sales so much. The whole stress of having responsibility of this territory really didn’t appeal to me any longer. I had realized that sales (inside or otherwise) was not really my shtick.

The recession was then in full swing, and rumours had been flying for months of talks of upcoming lay-offs. I was seriously thinking that I needed to be in front of that. I was ripe for change.

Tim, oh Tim. I met him that Thursday night in October of 2008, and I felt drawn to him. From that day forward we were together. No word of a lie. No exaggeration.

I was compelled. But I still wonder, even now, about where I would be. So many times I had the chance to turn away, to go another way. I chose not to. I feel sometimes that regardless of how it may look on the outside, inside, I’m going the right way, and I always have been. Maybe not the way everyone would go, but unique to me none the less.

I am a field of gold
rising out of the mist of yesterday.
In the memories of that place in time,
I dance within the angles
of the promises made
out of lies.

My muse is a musician
on a saturday night;
alone, at the bar,
on a dark, dark night.

Who was I than?
Who were you?

Together we danced out
and free of chaos,
of constraint,
we found a blessed place.

Here again I wait on the word of another for my key to this new life I am seeking. The other key, of that wee place I spoke of before, has been given to another. This new one is located in a place I have always wanted to live…and therefore seems almost too good to be true.

And so I wait. Await this new path to open up and show itself. To reveal to me, finally, my oasis I can call my own. BTW…I happen to suck at waiting. It is one of my many flaws – or character traits, depending on how you choose to look at it. I guess we all are awaiting something. In the meantime I suppose Grandma would say use your time wisely.