The orchid bloomed. WOW. I actually got an orchid to not just live, but rebloom. That fills me with such joy. This orchid was from my nieces, from Tim’s funeral. It means a lot to me, this beautiful flower. And to have it rebloom I guess is a sign maybe I’m doing something right.
As far back as I can remember even caring about stuff like this, I’ve always wanted to live in a bachelor apartment, in the midst of some wonderful neighbourhood (specifically this one). Wallllllaaaa…TaDa… here I am. What do you know.
I sometimes have to pinch myself, wandering from my ice mint kitchen to the vibrant orange main room. Whew, baby…you did it !
Is that odd? I’ve never wanted for some big ol’mansion, nor a vast, sprawling villa, no, I’ve wanted for a small, cozy pad to call my own. How strange, I know. How humble, and I guess too, completely lacking in this addiction many have to riches and the quest for everything to be BIGGER, FASTER, or MORE EXPENSIVE…then the next bozo.
I don’t want for much, really. Even having Irish with me in this dream, is a bonus addition to this goal, in my eyes. As she represents another of those goals I’ve had for my life. I’ve wanted a dog to call my own. To be mine, and only mine.
Even so, I do still have to remind myself that I WANTED this, and by god girlfriend, I HAD BETTER APPRECIATE it. These times, they are gone so quickly, I know. These times of change, when your life is in-between, but so much is about to happen, and everything is going to change. I feel that sense of change, right into the marrow of me. I often have to remind myself … SLOW DOWN, and take it in, savour this time, chew it slowly, and deliberately.
I am in so many ways a dichotomy. I prefer a simple life, but I do not have a simple mind. I strive for an uncluttered life, yet my mind is filled up with all sorts of unrelated subject matter, music, words and images.
There are those days, when the clock seems to tick slower, the world seems to be going at a different pace then you, and time becomes a walkway you can use towards your own goals. Right now, that’s approximately were I am.
Even though I still once in a while have this feeling of something being missing, I do still recognize the significance of this place, this time, this space. It’s a gift. I’ve been through so much, and now I am determined to once and for all, do this “starting over” thing the RIGHT WAY.