Today the air was mild, and the sun poked its head out for a few hours in the afternoon, so off I went with Irish for a walk. Nothing like a sunny afternoon walk around the quiet village streets… letting Irish sniff the News till her heart’s content.
I have spent this whole weekend customizing this blog. Re-aligning, re-defining, and such. Once the creative juices got flowing, I began to look around at my own walls, and saw they were lacking. I have needed just the right piece, once found, then I knew the whole thing would come together.
In my time with Tim, I honed my divining rod for treasures by the side of the road. Hence, today I came across two items of some interest. However, on further consideration, I decided a photo of one would suffice, while the other simply MUST come home with me.
One of my most recent treasures is an old Medicine bottle I found when they re-did the sidewalk out front here.
SO, now a dollar store “frameless painting” graces my wall, balanced by the shot I took at BealArt in the mid-80’s of my BFF’s punk rocker little sister, with a Money Tree in-between.
As I puttered around today, I couldn’t help but feel rather melancholy. My mind was on how much I would love to have one of those rare moments back with Tim. Here I stand today in this new place, and I am surrounded still by so many wonderful bits and pieces we found free, or were given freely – tables & chairs, cabinets and even one great big Oak Diningroom table.
Sometimes the loss of him just overwhelms me, and today was one of those days. Not all day, but once I had got the picture hung, and I was looking around, it suddenly hit me. I was overwhelmed by this feeling of “how could I have ever thought I could be with anyone else right now”? WOW… I’m wondering where that came from?
Hidden somewhere in the recesses of my mind I suppose was this deeply held sense of not being ready, not having let go, and not nearly ready enough to move on to ANYONE else. Not even close. It all just became so poignantly clear lately. And I guess as I looked around my little bachelor pad, I see that there really isn’t room for someone else.
Even so, it was refreshing to go a little deeper into this blog, and get an opportunity to really tie it all together. I still have some small bits I want to polish up, but as a whole I’m quite pleased with the results so far.
It was a weekend for a redefining of focus, I suppose. A time to look at things a little deeper, and think about how things look from different angles.