Yesterday was my first day off after the most recent shift-bid at work. I worked my first two 10 hour shifts, and awoke with the realization I was in need of a change.
It’s not merely that I don’t like how my place looks, it was more that I don’t like how I’m utilizing it. I’ve grown to dislike the worship the bed look, and the fact I spend all my non-working hours upon it; as it serves as both bed AND couch AND writing space. What seemed rather harem-esque or Gypsy caravan at one time, has become lazy and flophousey.
So I tore everything apart. I swept, I vacuumed, I took everything and put it all somewhere completely different. It was a complete rearranging. I had the windows open, and all day this wonderful cross breeze flowed through, and swept away the old to make way for the new. Tumbleweeds of blond wispy Irish fur were loosened from underneath furniture, and all was set back aright, sans the fur.
Last year in the days after Tim’s death, I created a space just for me just at the back of the Cottage, and made it my writing space. Sitting upon my GrandmaD’s Settee, within that nest, by a lake and on the edge of nowhere, I was all alone, but for Irish. I was numb with shock, and uncertain one minute, jubilant with hope the next. At the edge of one place in my life, going towards another, that space o’mine became my sanctuary – a Temenos.
In those four-square days of yore, I had just begun to blog, and I was pouring out my soul. Delving into the deep recesses of memory, and bringing forth stories of dying days and life and the sadness it sometimes brings. I sat there in that cozy spot I had created, and dreamed of where I would be in that future that seemed so far away and uncertain.
So here I am living that which I could only dream of last year.
I realize today that in essence, and with no conscious intent, that I have created a piece of that sanctuary I enjoyed back then. I can once again now sit on my Grandma’s settee and write. I can open the windows and enjoy the breezes, as I listen to the sounds of the village go by. I can breathe in the fresh aire of change.
Back in those days, last year at this time, I had holed myself up for four long months, like some mole. Not good for the spirit, but tremendous for writing.
My initial intent yesterday morning was to once and for all create a bedroom space AND a separate sitting area. Also, I decided that it was no fair that Irish got the best digs in the apartment, so I moved the Ikea Wicker divider, creating for myself a wee nest. NOW I too have an actual bedroom. AND an actual sitting room. WOOT WOOT!!!
What is most bizarre, is that it feels like I have more space now. I haven’t got rid of one single thing, but somehow everything now flows better, and it feels not quite so cramped. I guess maybe it’s important to divide ones sleeping quarters from where you spend your waking time. So with but wicker, furniture and scarves, I have created that which needed division. Like a big yin yang symbol, the Ikea wicker piece stands in the centre of this big beautiful room, directing the energy around in a delightful way.
I’ve taken from the foyer, and given it to my bedroom. I moved Irish out of her den, as I decided to take over that hidden little cove for myself. I moved the settee down to sit in front of the window, and the glass console was removed to the kitchen – where it now serves as a counter for the toaster oven and microwave; giving me alittle open aire storage underneath.
Today I tackle the kitchen. I want a simple zenish space, to inspire me to cook my own meals. I figure that by creating simplicity, I will eventually embody that self-same simplicity. I have this strong sense of WONDERFUL today. This feeling of maturity, and destiny and good things to come. I can see clearly, and even though I don’t have much, what I do have is precious and, well, WONDERFUL 😉 … and how goofy is that.