After washing my underwear in the sink, which BTW mom is very satisfying, and by doing most of my laundry in the sink on an as needed basis I don’t have to see people. WINNING. Now I shall spend the rest of my day daydreaming on the stoop, or we will.

Yesterday spent the afternoon out there, watching Pika poke about all the things that were there to be sniffed, it’s all new for her.

Last fall, finally, after every year letting it pass by, I finally planted bulbs last October. Finally. And, thank goodness I did because this spring, out of all the springs, those pretty spring blooms will be a welcome sight for our cloistered eyes.

I was afraid the squirrels, the thieving lot they are, I was afraid they got all them last year after I planted them, but it looks like the majority fared well, as they are all poking up through the earth.

The box said they were squirrel proof, but ya know.

“That is one good thing about this world…there are always sure to be more springs.”

L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea

I am certainly thankful for that little oasis out there… everything feels a world away when I’m there on the stoop.

I mean, with everything that’s transpiring, it is a nice place to gain perspective.

Yesterday I got thinking, what I find most striking, is the contrast in how government leaders handle this crisis – distinct difference, glaring difference – there are those who conquer their fear and lead, and those who are conquered by fear and fail to lead.

A crisis really does hammer home what someone is really made of.

With crystal clarity those who are fearless, who speak the truth, empower people to do their part, be the sofa warrior… rally WE THE PEOPLE to do what needs to be done.

But some governors in the U.S. are too afraid to order their citizens to stay home, shutter businesses, and in the end protect those who they were elected to protect. Who have stuck their head in the sand, and refuse to take the advice of science, or just pass the blame on up the chain. Florida being one glaring example, with all the seniors down there… frustrating to watch.

I suppose, these so-called leaders want to wish it all away with thoughts and prayers.

Yeah, sorry mom, but it really pisses me off, helplessly watching the quagmire of bullshitery that festers down yonder in the land of my birth.

But enough of that. Honestly, I have been paying as little attention as I can, since it is just too overwhelming in the amount of clusterfockry down yonder.

Part of turning away from all that stuff, is this thought that I risk becoming a bit immune to that horror, and stepping back from that tsunami might be good, being a smidgen more oblivious, more healthy.

I can do nothing anyway, and it just makes me very sad and angry.

I’ve spent instead a lot more of my time productively, in positive things, than all that. Twitter is checked far far less through the day, I turn the news on, watch a bit of The National on CBC, but that’s about it… more music, more bouncy puppies, more fresh air, more soothing vibes.

Anywho, Pika and I, we’ve settled into a kind of groove. Not a routine, so much as an ebb and flow. Her being a puppy still, the great benefit to all this is the opportunity we’ve had to bond, to get to know one another.

That is something I missed with Irish, as not having her when she was a puppy, I didn’t get to be there for all that formative stuff. I know with Mogan, back so long ago now, but with her we had that time when she was a puppy, and so the two of us were on the same wave length.

Pika and I are now far more copacetic, as she responds to me more now by mere hand gestures or sounds I make.

Watching her exploring, her cute little face, as she looks to me for reassurance, makes sure I’m still there, sitting on the stoop watching her, watching me, watching her.

She’s funny, and little things get her so excited. New smells, new sounds, new everything, and it is a delight to see her discover her world.

Yes mom, I am blessed to have her, and sorry to go on and on, I sound like a gushing parent going on about their child.

I guess in a way she is.

This time around though it is different, as this time it is just her and I. With Mogan I had ol’Roger the dodger hubby, and he had his own ideas… but this time it is only me, and I like that.

With Pika, right from the day I brought her home, when she was 14 weeks old, it has been just the two of us. From that drive back from the vet that day with Lex, she clung to me, after of course vomiting all over me, the seat, my purse, a very stinky vomity smelly vomit… permeating the entire car, in a gagging sort of way.

I will say this too, even from day one, she has always made her presence known. Small she may be, but somehow she manages to take centre stage… and not sure if that is just a Chihuahua characteristic, or if its just her, or a bit of both.

I mean, she can come off as shy, but it is more that she is reserved around strangers, and she holds back, she watches. She is one clever little dog, you know mom, really clever… like Dixie sort of clever. She generally listens well, and picks things up rather quickly. She is stubborn though, and first I find you have to win her respect… and then she’ll let you boss her, but not until.

Which I suppose to some degree is true for all dogs, but its more pronounced in more alpha-type dogs.

Ok, I’m rambling. Proud puppy mama bragging.

Now, I kind of joke about it, but in all honesty, I isolate myself all the time, and have for years and years. Really, I find this all a little disjointed, or strange, unnerving, cause I still have to fight that urge to feel guilty for not getting out more, socializing more, joining something, being friendly, making friends, and all that crap I have worried about for so many years. NOW… I am the friggen GRAND MASTER in a sea of those totally unused to what comes naturally to me. It’s very weird.

So, I am one of those rare birds that feels a bit freer during all this isolation. Yes, there is scary stuff going on, and though I may still feel anxious, it’s refreshing to be places where there are no people. Empty streets and sidewalks, in a once thriving bustling village, is for some maybe unnerving, but for me is most welcome.

All those hard-core introverts such as myself all over the world are like, YES, this is how I like it.

Strangely, and it took so little time, photos of crowded places seem almost alien. I flip through old videos on YouTube, or scroll through old photos anywhere, and the stark contrasts, of peopled squares… to abandoned streets for miles… is unnerving.

Anyway, enough of that, I am now every morning trying to show up with loving gratitude, cause praise be I have what I need and my wants are simple things.

Such as, my shady nook out past my stoop, and all the spring things poking up through the earth.

Ciao for now mom,
Love paula

“And the Spring arose on the garden fair,

Like the Spirit of Love felt everywhere;

And each flower and herb
on Earth’s dark breast

Rose from the dreams of its wintry rest.”

Percy Bysshe Shelley, The Complete Poems

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