No, my father is no precious heirloom, that man. But, I do love him, he is my dad, and one day this will all be over, behind us, and we can talk of other things, again, without this elephant in the room. Continue reading The Man Who Divides, Love And Shame, Horror And Blame, Father And Daughter, Be Gone
Dentistry Department at the University finally called, and my appointment was cancelled, as expected, they are still closed, non-essential. It was just for the consultation, but it was a step forward. Finally, I think it has all fallen into place, and 2020 walks in, says… not so fast… you’re on a time out for some indefinite period and left with your crappy teeth. Oh, good … Continue reading Can We Just Make Dystopian Hellscapes Fiction Again?
On the stoop yesterday aft, productive day, as the doggo got a walko, and other things I needed to do, and we spent some quality time on the stoop. Watching the world go by, and while there is less of it, or less people, there are people. Actually, more people, but spaced out people throughout that day, going on their daily sanity stroll round the … Continue reading A Peek At Where I Hang My Hats
Solitude I have learned… it energizes me. I’m more creative on my own, when I’m locked away in some secret garden… not outside the world, just hidden from the world. I dream of one day living on some plot of land, maybe with a little river or stream burbling by, with a sunny spot for a veggie plot. Live in a Tiny House, a place … Continue reading Oh, Ya, This Is Bringing Up Some Ghosts Of Grey For Me
You know, I look around me, and this space pleases me, brings me joy. The colours, the light, everything here is soothing and suits me. I have found that there is often a big difference between what I thought would make me happy, and what actually does. I mean, joy can be illusive. Course, if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t feel so good when it does … Continue reading Another Letter, Life In Lockdown Of Your Favourite Heathen Introvert, And A Life Hack
All about finding all the good stuff lately, like really trying, searching for it, cause, god knows there is a heaping helping of bad just waiting to bite. So, the first, is that not wanting to just run to the grocery store when I have a craving for this that or that other thing, because of my more sedentary life the last few months since … Continue reading So Mom, Lex Is A #CuomoSexual
After washing my underwear in the sink, which BTW mom is very satisfying, and by doing most of my laundry in the sink on an as needed basis I don’t have to see people. WINNING. Now I shall spend the rest of my day daydreaming on the stoop, or we will. Yesterday spent the afternoon out there, watching Pika poke about all the things that … Continue reading A Strange Kinda Freedom In Lockdown, And A Puppy Dog On Guard For Me
The days now kind of just melt together, and I lose track of what day it is. Weekends have meant very little for some time, but now day and night have become interchangeable, merely long stretches of waking life, interspersed with long pauses for sleep. Mornings, try as I might to stay up later, well, mornings happen way too early. My schedule is all whacked … Continue reading So Mom, Let Me Tell Ya Bout The Great Arachnid Hunter And Other Pleasing Anecdotes For Fear
Blissful hermit isn’t exactly the way I’d describe my confinement, and any suggestion of that I may have given is bull poop on a Popsicle stick. As you well know, panic, anxiety and depression runs rampant throughout our family tree, on both sides of that 49th, twisting and tying us in knots, though some of us more than others. So, for me, keeping this anxiety … Continue reading A Letter To My Dead Mom Where I Tell Her About The COVIdiots And How I’ve Learned To Cope With Lockdown Anxiety
For months before my location closed and that part of my life ended, oh, how I had craved for some time to myself, to be the hermit again, relish my introvert, soothed by solitude. Now I find that I am sleeping longer, and this cocooning has been my guilty pleasure. As such my days have not changed all that much. I mean, I’ve languished in … Continue reading Between Panic And Calm, Love And Loathing, Us And Them, Healers And Hoarders, Is My Chihuahua
So, um, this morning sucked. Had almost a complete and utter breakdown. I mean, the morning till that point had been fine, talked to Lex for a while, she updated me on dad and MsB. All’s good. Well, good as can be expected. I had set up this app on my phone to pay with, rather than using my actual bank card, so I didn’t … Continue reading I'm A Zen Master Of Isolation, But That Line Between Sanity And Madness Can Be Kinda Thin Right Now
Gnash my teeth, if I had any left, seething rage, as I watch the number of positive tests for the virus tick up, and deaths mount across the land, and thousands are going to die needlessly because of the inaction of one man. Incompetence, or evil, same difference, whether with ignorance of intent, the dead will still be dead. Then last night the news hit … Continue reading The Heartbreaking Reality Unfolding Down Yonder In The Land Of My Birth
Whilst tapping the proverbial foot, I await this thing I have avoided for over a decade. Queued, with no particular place to go, I await this call that will determine the date of removal of what remains of my shoddy munchers, as I dream of the day my teeth no longer make me look like a homeless crack whore. Then go out and get the … Continue reading At The Age Of Giving Zero Fock-A-Roonies, And How I Got Here – the 4th letter to the prettiest girl in town
by PaulaB 