Why I Am Not Watching My Niece Play Soccer Tonight

Well, now, I almost hate to say it, but I swear these girls are just wrecking soccer for me. I mean, I am not one for sports. Really. However, I will watch Hockey, like a Leaf’s game and every now and again the Stanley Cup games. Tim and I actually watched the whole series the year Boston won in 2011 (and I had to go ask SirB for the year, cause he just got home from work and he was quicker then trying to find it on the Internet).

I love watching my nieces play hockey. They love it, and it’s normally fairly warm in these newer Arena’s.

Ok, so the other sport I will watch is Golf. Particularly the Masters, but any of them will normally do. I just love to lay around on a Saturday and Sunday afternoon and watch Golf. Its’ somehow very soothing, with the commentator burring away as the players make the way round the course. I love the strategy and patience; which are characteristics I lack, and the number one reason I have never played. Ever. Hate the idea of it actually, but LOVE watching it. I’m with Mark Twain on this, “Golf is a good walk ruined”.

And, last but not least, I will watch Soccer. Now lets qualify that, I will watch it in a pub with a pint of Guinness. I am beginning to despise the idea of sitting in a windy field, on a cold day, in a lawn chair freezing me arse off to watch a bunch of little girls run around a field after each other. I mean, please. I’m an Aunt, not a Saint. Just an Aunt. I don’t have to go. I do love watching them. Taking pictures. You can get some lovely shots with, what my girlfriend back in the GTA would call, THE ALPINE GLOW. It’s that beautiful halo of sunlight that washes your face at this angled, warm glow in the late afternoon. It makes them sometimes look like wee fairies, in their green outfits and high, dark socks.

So now as wonderful as all that may be, as much as I may love them dearly, good grief man, na-huh. Not this cat, not on this cold JUNE fricken day from H E double hockey sticks. I’m having a Chai Tea and if I’m doing anything, it’s sitting on the Front Porch smokin’ my cylinders of sin, and chilaxing not chilly.

My sister when she’s leaving, turns to me when I said I really didn’t care to go (and that is rare, I will normally go, freeze my fricken caboose off but I go, and I don’t complain). Anywho…she’s like “Oh, are you going to make me jealous of you?”….I’m like DAMN RIGHT. HAH I ain’t got the meat I used to have on me, and god help me I refuse to wear my winter coat in June. I mean REFUSE. I don’t know the rules of the game that well any more – or care really – I just enjoy watching it…INSIDE {in a pub, on a bar-stool, with a Guinness}.

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