Why I hate Father’s Day Cards

My Dad, what can I say about my Dad. He’s from the south – born in North Carolina. He came up to Canada in the mid-1960’s to work in Tobacco for the summer, met Mom, and as they say “the rest is history”.

I’m not going to write some post about how horrible my Dad is, cause that’s not it at all. He’s good at being a friend, he’s a good guy and people both respect him and want to be around him. He’s also honest and humble, and there is NO ONE I would feel safer with at the helm of any vehicle.

Frankly, he’s just never going to get the whole “dad” thang. He never did any of those stereotypical DAD things, or took an interest in what either my sister or I were up to. He was a mean ol’ dragon on vacation…and literally I think had to be dragged by Mom. Of course considering he was the driver – coerced. He was a Trucker, so I would imagine that the whole “vacation” part was alittle lost on him.

Let me tell you, picking out Father’s Day cards is such a pain in the ass. I mean, really, are people’s Dad’s really that wonderful? Or are people just faking it? If I gave my Dad one of those cards, he’d look at me like I’d grown 3 heads.

You can’t change who you are, and I know the man loves me, he just totally sucks at showing it.

For instance, my sister broke her Leg in a SeaDooing accident when she was 18. When the hospital called Mom and Dad to tell them what had happened, Mom was saying everything the nurse said out loud. So she says “and her toe was touching her kneecap when they were bringing her in”? WHAM, Dad faints dead away right in the hallway.

At the hospital later that night Lex had surgery to have a steel plate put in to fuse the bones; since both had been smashed to bits. Basically, she almost lost her leg. When the nurses were changing shifts, Lex says she heard them at the nurses station talking about Dad…”yes, and he was so sweet, he was crying the whole time his daughter was in surgery”.

See that’s my Dad. Quiet, humble, honest … and a nice healthy set of flaws … but he loves deeply. So deeply that he’s said his emotions scare him. So he turns away from them, sometimes,  to avoid being too wounded. He has just never been good at handling those deep, penetrating feelings that being a parent brings.

I Love my Dad.

In the end I realize that what he’s taught me over the years perhaps is more valuable than what all the Father’s Day Cards speak of. What he gave me is truth. And, that no matter what, we are who we are and no amount of wishing will ever make someone into who they are not. That to accept people for who they are, is alot easier than expecting them to some day to just get up and change. Hasn’t happened to anyone I’ve tried it on yet, so I’m not so dumb as too keep banging my head against that wall.

Sometimes you just have to love people, faults and all. It’s ok that he’s not good at showing it, you don’t have to be perfect for me to Love you back.


  1. manchesterflickchick

    This is such a good post and the story about your Dad fainting! Your Dad’s behaviour remindes me so much of my boyfriends. At first I took him to be grumpy, tactless, and uncaring – OK so I was right about the first two things but I’ve learned he’s SO generous and kind. He just doesn’t really ‘get’ sentiment or cliqued romance and strugles to find the words to express the sheer amount of emotion he feels. Blokes like this are actualy pretty great aren’t they :0)


    1. PaulaB

      “Blokes like this” indeed :-) They are pretty great…though, like fine scotch, an acquired taste. Salt of the earth, is how a good friend describes him…salt and a good healthy dose of PEPPER….;-)


  2. nivaladiva

    Another beautiful post! I have to say I can’t stand these artificial holidays. Hard not to think of them as commercial gimmicks designed to make us buy stuff. That said, I agree about the blank card, which usually have great pictures and can say exactly what you want. Also, from the picture of him in this post and your profile picture, you look very much like him!


    1. PaulaB

      Yes, we look alot alike. Somedays I’m standing there in the mirror, in the middle of summer and my face is like one big freckle, and WHAM, my Dad’s looking back at me. You have no idea how whacked out that makes you feel ;-) We used to have the WORSE fights when I was a teenager. I swear, he always said that if I’d been a boy “I’d a been a grease spot on the wall”. Like, as if. He liked to talk like that…but I knew him better…and that has always unnerved him.


  3. Life&Ink

    Well thought out and I like how you have learned to accept people as they are. A very important lesson. You dad taught you well. I’d say give up on finding a card, they are all so dumb anyway and get a blank card and write your own message. Besides, you are a much better writer! :-)


        1. PaulaB

          You joke….;-) I have done that…at few times. Now, its good construction paper I bought at a craft store, and the crayons were replaced with a stamping kit …


          1. Life&Ink

            But I don’t joke… I love doing stuff like that and why should fun stuff be for kids. Seriously! Plus it is so good to the adult soul to engage in the activities we did as kids. I also love going to the park and swinging on the swings and going down the slides (after going up them not using the ladder but by climbing up the slide itself of course!) I think it’s wonderful you make your own cards. I’ll be quiet now! :-)


            1. PaulaB

              LOL..no…please….I LOVE it.

              I’m sometimes too stogy…too serious….but I have to do that silly stuff now and again…it’s sort of like therapy I guess…


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