Deep Thoughts At A Bus Stop

snowy day at the busstop

These waiting periods, waiting for a bus, on a bus waiting to get to where I’m going, they’ve become a sort of opportunity to think,  as I’m generally not the chic standing there with her nose to her phone, usually. But, like sketchpad mind dumps for me, waiting becomes a time to reflect, to get this stuff out of my thoughts. A time for me to go through the reactions that have been swirling inside my head, to explore them, even so far as writing them in my mind, erase this bit, continue on, or even sometimes I mentally back up and start anew, or scrap the whole thing wholesale and go on to something else, wandering around in my thoughts, long dark hallways with open and closed doors, secret passageways and all the junk and useless things that have been collected along the way.

Now, probably 99% of everything I mind sketch gets lost somewhere on the way to work, but its become a sort of writing ritual, and I believe that whatever idea is for me will not pass me by, it will return as soon as I find myself once again tap, tap, taping away, and perhaps by that action of typing it dislodges these ideas or the writing genie I’ve persuaded to guide me liked one of them and tickles the mind sketch back from the brink. 

I find of late I’ve been waking well before the dawn, eager to see, hear, know, and write it down, out, give it freedom, express, share, and its almost become an obsession. My sleeping cycle has been this etched in stone routine now for months of in bed before 10 (ideally) and up around 3 am, day in and day out, every dang day, with no mercy for when I actually laid my head down and closed my eyes in repose, perchance to sleep 7 or 8 hours? But nope, there is only the time of day, and my body wakes from slumber, arises, and before I know what hit me here I am in this chair, watching the newest Rachel Maddow upload on YouTube, then on to the others, hunting the snark and bark and stark reality of the world right now.

This news cycle on crack atmosphere of the last number of months weighs heavy, the greed, corruption, election tampering, and a leader so unqualified that they have absolutely no awareness of how unqualified they are (IMNSHO), revelling in an ignorance I have not experienced since childhood, and that has somehow seeped into almost every crevice of my day to day interactions, dialogues, and so forth, and how that ignorance has become like a drug for some, a cult of personality, fueling a dangerous narcissist.

As I watch this real-world drama unfold, and cringe and yell at the screen, sometimes put the ol’blinders on to block the spectacle, going LALALALALA, trying to ignore the noise, the fear and loathing, division, corruption, and all the myriad of crap, yes, even with all that, I do still believe change is in the wind, regardless of all the opposition, transformation is inevitable.

“Government is nothing more than the combined force of society or the united power of the multitude for the peace, order, safety, good, and happiness of the people… There is no king or queen bee distinguished from all the others by size or figure or beauty and variety of colors in the human hive. No man has yet produced any revelation from heaven in his favor, any divine communication to govern his fellow men. Nature throws us all into the world equal and alike…
The preservation of liberty depends upon the intellectual and moral character of the people. As long as knowledge and virtue are diffused generally among the body of a nation it is impossible they should be enslaved.
Ambition is one of the more ungovernable passions of the human heart. The love of power is insatiable and uncontrollable…
There is a danger from all men. The only maxim of a free government ought to be to trust no man living wth power to endanger public liberty.” 

David McCullough quoting John Adams

Example, at work the other day, unloading the truck, and some co-workers are talking about the name of the guy who was the White House Press Secretary, and before I could pipe up another co-workers answers – Sean Spicer. What the? How’d he know that? Ha…SNL. They had been discussing I don’t recall what, but then there was a brief discussion on the names of the past Directors of Communication for the White House, and dear lord when did the average Canadian Joe know this stuff? Or care?

But I have to write, I’ve learned that over the years since I began blogging, every day this has become my routine, and I know if I don’t go through the motions that it will never return, can not return, and insanity may insue. Not like I can just call it in like a twitter feed, I have to take whatever idea comes forth, or just type out whatever inane sentence, and go for it, and just hope the genie arrives to help out.

Like this post is a GREAT example of that, as I have that desire to write something this morning, as angry bits and bobs of news, views or whatever, clog up my mind. But then, as I tap away, things start to float into view, at the periphery of my awareness, fresh coffee at hand, the dawn not yet even broken and it is my golden time, and I’m type, type, typing away trying to pin down the thoughts into a coherent structure, wondering all the while what the heck is the point.  

Yes, and what is the point? I suppose of late the many points, the multitude of points is so innumerable that I honestly lately find it hard to know which to look closer at, which to pin down, which to explore.

Yeah, pack your bags and move to the Arctic if you want to get away from it. Although, I know there are many who wear the blinders so often, so much a part of who they are, that unless its a fast moving car about to hit them, they are more or less oblivious. Yet, even that blinkered bystander is becoming scarce, as so many just, I guess like myself, just can’t believe their eyes and ears, can’t turn their eyes away from the spectacle.

Yet, the news cycle chugs along, and day after day, we learn more and more about the corruption that plagued Trump’s campaign, as the characters who he surrounded himself with all seemed to have this one thing in common – they were a crook with foreign connections eager to get a piece of some American pie.

Still, I seriously shake my head. It astounds me, boggles the mind, really, at how broken America is right now. But, broken, not done for, not shattered, not irreparable. In fact, I am beginning to see the light. 

One of the reasons I am so attracted to history is that with that long view it offers I can begin to glean stuff from the annals. That pendulum swings, back and forth, and while history does not repeat, it does instruct, I look to history for answers. American history of late has piqued my concern, for obvious reasons, and as I know so little but the high-level stuff, and even then I know my knowledge is rather sketchy, I find it fascinating.

It is only then, truly only then, that you can really grasp the monumental unprecedented nature of current events. I mean, even during Watergate Nixon was rarely so obvious in his prejudices, going through the motions of the good guy prosecuted by evil lords, sure, but he kept up the civil discord with his opponents, even if it was a sham. 

Shite balls, I wasn’t going to get into any of this, but even if we are living in interesting times the rules do, or should, still apply; even if some would believe otherwise.

Also, and more importantly, the attack mode seems to have become some kind of common international sport, myself being just as guilty of that. However, again, one of the mind sketches, I realized that the rules do apply, and one of those rules I have learned is that if you attack too much if you go too far, the victim, who may have actually wanted a way out, begins to start defending their abuser. Right? Same can be said of Trump and while perhaps not the diehard loyalists, but those on the fringe, the 10% or so that teeter back and forth, and if you watch they teeter towards him the more he’s attacked. 

Watch him at the Argentinian G20 submit, watch him wandering off, sitting alone at the table as all the other world leaders mill about behind him. Watch how out of place he was at George H.W.’s funeral, sitting there in that row of Presidents and first ladies, not uttering a word, not participating, just sitting there. Being the guy who’s jealous of the baby at a christening, that funeral must have been excruciating.

“A master of what Franklin Roosevelt called the science of human relationships, he believed that to whom much was given, much is expected. And because life gave him so much, he gave back again and again and again. He stood in the breach in the Cold War against totalitarianism. He stood in the breach in Washington against unthinking partisanship. He stood in the breach against tyranny and discrimination. And on his watch, a wall fell in Berlin, a dictator’s aggression did not stand, and doors across America opened to those with disabilities.”

Jon Meacham – from his eulugy of George H.W. Bush

The 45th believes he is under no such mandate or set of rules that governed Bush, nor any of those others sitting beside him. The man knows he doesn’t have to act presidential, his loyalists don’t expect that of him.

Actually, dumbfounded as I am to explain why, but, they like him just because he is so undiplomatic, so unschooled, so ignorant of history, politics, trade, all the things they are ignorant about as well.  He exhibits no aires, has no grace under fire, he falls prey to evil whims in the presence of dictators that threaten his country in order to score a buck or whatnot, and they laugh and applaud his silly antics like the reality show they believe it all to be.

He is amusing, entertaining, and day after day he sticks it to his enemies, their enemies, says whatever he wants, does whatever he wants, breaks decorum, decency and all rules that once governed the conduct of a sitting president, and they gobble up his bumpkiss schtick. They love him lock, stock and barrel, believing him to be whatever it is they need him to be, evangelical, righteous, brave, honest, whatever it is they want him to be, finally comfortable in their rose-coloured white nationalist glasses, staring down at all the eloquently spoken diplomatic elitist libtards they believe are robbing them, of what I have no idea, but ROBBING them I say, conspiring to turn America into some little shop of bleeding heart liberal horrors, such as universal healthcare and modernized & renewable energy, and dreamers and sceamers from other lands pushing at the borders to steal all the jobs they don’t want.

And the more you attack, the more they gather around him, defend his behaviour, and don’t you believe for one second they are oblivious. Nope, far from. If the average Trumpian is anything like my father, they know all this, but they like him anyway. They like him BECAUSE he’s all this.

Corruption is nothing new, they think, in Washington. He’s not doing anything anyone else hasn’t done, so why all the fuss? Pft. Nonsense they say, who cares, whatever, bull in the china shop, long as he’s pushing the racist, anti-science, anti-abortion, anti-globalist agenda, they are fine with treason, crooks and lies. 

To be honest, I don’t think he’s going to be impeached. I don’t think he really cares about his reputation or his legacy as president, or what his actions are doing to his country. He’s said as much, concerning the debt, and that it’s going to be someone else’s problem. No, instead, it will only be after all the litigation against his name, his brand, after they start to chip away at his empire, then, and only then, do I think he will cave. And 2020? Like to see how he thinks he’s going to win when fully 60% of his country hates his living guts, just sayin. 

Sit back, get the popcorn, we are in for a bumpy ride. 

Yet, yet, I still believe. I believe that this too shall pass, and this president perhaps will stand as a lesson, to not so blaithly believe democracy is etched in stone, that America is immune to the destructive, despotic governments seen only in ‘other’ countries. 

I mean, seriously, America has never followed the rules. The founding of the nation was BUILT on those who refused to follow the time-worn traditions of monarchy, feudalism and governments ruling from afar, taxation without representation, and class systems that favoured the lords of the land and went out of their way to squash the will of the average joe. Don’t forget, the Declaration of Independence was a document that was crafted as an argument against the mechanisms of a Britain that favoured the motherland over the needs of her colonies. It was written to outline the very reasons they desired to govern themselves, and they were considered traitors for it, and all the founding fathers had a price on their head. 

No question, we are living through interesting times, when everything is topsy-turvy upside down and backwards, don’t believe anyone who says they know which way is up.

Maybe, just maybe, this is a situation where there is an opportunity to change, a gravitational pull of possibilities, tugging at the very structure of American democracy, where holes open up, people fall, and only through that destruction can the country transform, rise from the ashes. 

Well, to be clear, I sincerely hope it doesn’t get that far, ashes that is, but we shall see what the days, months and so forth bring.

Psssst… just one last thing, a recommendation for all you political or history geeks, great podcast series to check out – The Bagman. Description from the MSNBC site:

“Is it possible for an American Vice President to carry out a criminal enterprise inside the White House and have nobody remember? To have one of the most brazen political bribery scandals in American history play out before the country while nobody’s paying attention? In her first original podcast, MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow goes back 45 years to dig into a story that got overshadowed in its day.”

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