To Be, Or Not To Be, A Torchbearer In The Dark, That Is The Question

Candle Light In The Dark

Injustice for me is probably the single biggest triggers. Injustice is the thing that ignites something inside me that I have had burning since I was a young child, to watch as someone gets away with something that is morally wrong, not just criminal, not just a crime, but fundamentally manipulating circumstances to suit their own ends. You know, like rich people getting different justice than the poor, or someone in power hurting someone with no recourse to defend themselves, or someone hurting a dog, someone who gets away with something and you know they just have no conscience, no fundamental morality.

Maybe it’s because I am so INFP, have so much of that knight in shining armour, there is this something inside me that is so incredibly angry, saddened, frustrated I suppose, when people exhibit the worst of humanities selfish evils, and when that is rewarded.

INFP – stands for Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving.:

a person who is energized by time alone (Introverted), who focuses on ideas and concepts rather than facts and details (iNtuitive), who makes decisions based on feelings and values (Feeling) and who prefers to be spontaneous and flexible rather than planned and organized (Perceiving). INFPs are sometimes referred to as Healer personalities due to their sympathetic idealism and gentle compassion for other people.


It triggers something inside me that eats away at my soul. It returns moment after moment, day after day, in synchronicity and happenstance, as if to force me to acknowledge it.

I suppose in hoogie moogie new age lingo, you could say this sense of rage and sorrow at injustice is wrapped up in my purpose, somehow, to perhaps be aware of these injustices.

For what end? Ah, yes, and this is the question I have being asking myself ever since I recognized my inability to just walk over or away mentally from some types of injustice. That fundamental question of what am I going to do with it?

Because I just can’t ignore the fact that for many none of the stuff transpiring in the U.S. is really even on their radar.

I see the same thing with climate change deniers. Because of the slow moving damages of climate change, and the complexities inherent to climate science, for many it is easier to either look away from it, or latch on to those who argue against it, since the gravity of the truth for them is too great. Basically, that it is just easier for some people to believe anyone that says something is not true, because to actually acknowledge it as truth is just too scary for them.

Yeah, well, courage is something I’ve always had inside for when it is most required – courage coupled with a disdain for injustice, and we have a perfect soup.

Considering my sun sign is Leo, I suppose one shouldn’t be surprise.

Yet, I’m not one to shine like a normal Leo, like Madonna. I’m not a world traveller and explorer, freedom fighter, soldier in the trenches Leo like T. E. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia) – both of whom share my birth date.

But they have/had courage, of their convictions, of their worldview, their sense of self.

I have a sense of me, a big part of my introversion is due to that, if I’m honest. I believe that maybe that is something all introverts struggle with, is that selfish navel-gazing part of themselves, and how it can be a challenge to figure the best way to utilizing it, to see it as a feature not a bug, to wield it as a sword and not a thing to overcome.

Even my own family questions why I am so concerned about the American president, that 45th. Why I, ok I’ll say it, why I seem so obsessed with what he does, who he is, etc.

Well, its injustice.

Pure and simple, no grey, injustice. That a wealthy man who lies about everything and seems to exhibit no moral fibre whatsoever, who cheats and breaks the rules, who thinks the rules don’t apply to him, and he’s allowed to get away with it? He is allowed to welcome help from foreign governments to interfere in order to get him elected. He has no problem with being a traitor to his country and its constitution, in destroying democracy, and all because he always gets what he wants. It doesn’t matter to him how other people are effected by his actions and that they may destroy their lives, of people escaping warfare and violence and desperate to save their children, well, he just goes golfing. PFT. Why should he care? Not his job.

No, his job is to get what he wants so that he can grab it by the p#$$y and be allowed to play deal maker, and of course golf.

That such a corrupt individual with scary authoritarian traits should be protected and held up as some sort of GREAT MAN, well personally I find almost too much, the injustice of that, the very core of who I am boils like acid in my stomach, and burns like acid reflux in my throat.

Gargoyle In Candle Light

So I have to speak, I have to write it out, get it out, make the words come, find the words, look at the feeling, and see what words I can use to share all this that burns inside. It is something I can not turn away from. Not for anything more, really, than it is just not in me to do it. Actually, it takes more work for me to look away, I have to practice it, to stop and force myself to every once in a while stare in to nothing and wipe my brain of thoughts just so that I don’t explode. To turn a way from this sort of injustice if I think I have even 2 cents worth to add? Impossible. No, my only way forward is to add that 2 cents, plant that acorn, and just hope that even in some minuscule way I can add that ripple to the pond and knowledge and a light in the darkness, a torch in the cave to even just guide the way for others who CAN make a real and powerful concrete difference.

So, that is it, eh, I’m just a little torchbearer, and all of us can be that. A light in the dark. We all know how just one candle can be enough to see where to put your next step, and so on, and so forth, and bit by bit make our way through the battle against this authoritarian government we see being instigated, strengthened, made mainstream, with this American president when can illuminate the darkest corners.

We’ve watched as over the last 30 or odd years as that authoritarian voice has taken over the Republican party, as politicians in that once grand old party lost sight of their morality, in their ends justifies the means style of governance.

To my mind it is a be careful what you wish for scenario, in a real sense. They have exercised that muscle for so long, danced around the forcing it down your throat and get what you want authoritarian tactics of fear mongering, and in steps this con artist tacky reality show host on the scene, and slowly they got sucked into his circus of chaos.

All that aside, for me the thing is that whether you are more liberal, or your more conservative, or whatever political stance you take, the injustices taking place in the U.S. are dangerous and leading them to a type of government that 70 years ago the world fought, and won. Now, we have a bunch of predominately old men toadying up to a man who has always shirked every responsibility, has no family values, has cheated on every wife he’s had, in public, rode in on a wave of corruption and just down right immoral and traitors conduct, and every day he is allowed to get away with it is on all our heads.

So, be a light, I guess, is my advice. I have no choice, I have to write. I suppose if you’ve made it this far that you are like me, and while I can not tell you what your own personal ‘torch’ is, I can say there is something, and even if it is just 2 cents, it does add up, so be a light in the dark.

You don’t have to be the social justice warrior, but be a torchbearer for one. You don’t have to be a politician that speaks truth to power, but you can write about them, talk about them, campaign for one, or many. You don’t have to be an investigative journalist yourself, but read their work, promote their work, share their words and the news, the views, in writing or whatever outlet or format suits because knowledge is power.

Don’t be discouraged by that 2 cents, don’t be dismayed as every day we awake to another day of nothing being done to curb this man’s most evil intentions – just share whatever light you can, don’t let those with no morality take your heart away, your power, just add that 2 cents, again and again and in every way you can.

They want to break us down, to discourage, dismay, desensitize us who object to the direction that administration is going – don’t let them. Take back the torch, make it again a beacon of hope, a light in the darkest night, a belief in justice for all, in WE the people, and not just some of THE PEOPLE.

Sword handle illuminated by candles

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Margaret Mead

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