Now back in her hometown, in a place, she has always wanted to return to, and do it better. Through moves and different jobs, a solitary seeker of the secret to joy, and peace, choice, and even destiny. Writing Letters to her Mom, sometimes raw with grief, sometimes a celebration of joy. She talks to her as though she was just living far away, and … Continue reading She Talks To The Dead
“Feel, he told himself, feel, feel, feel. Even if what you feel is pain, only let yourself feel.” ― P.D. James, The Children of Men This writing to you, you know, it’s helped me gather my thoughts, move forward, and hash out what’s what. Take yesterday, ol’roger.the.dodger turned 51. Look at me today versus’ that person I was back in those days, enuff said. Not … Continue reading Is Losing Yourself The Meaning Of Life?
As you no doubt are aware, Elephants grieve. They stand by their loved ones and shed tears. They bury them, even recognize the bones of friends and family; and even can pick out their loved one’s skull from a group of others. They stay by the bodies or come to visit loved ones after death. Like something calls them maybe? Who knows. But they are … Continue reading We Mourn Like Elephants
On the face of it, I suppose it looked as though I thought I was all that and a bag of chips. Strange how others see you, versus how you see yourself. Those last days of High School, you remember those Mom. Did it change me? Damn right it did. Sure I appeared tough as nails on the surface, but that walk home that night … Continue reading Those Girls Can Kiss My…
No, I’m quite certain I haven’t written you about this. It ended, oddly enough, in Niagara Falls of all places. He had invited me to come with him for the weekend. I don’t know what I was thinking. He was attending this conference for work. There I was, staring down at the falls, alone in our room, wondering what the hell I was doing. He … Continue reading Did I Tell You About My Affair With A Married Man?
It wasn’t that long ago I could barely browse through those photos from my days in Grey. Like getting lost in some gigantic labyrinth, once on the otherside you can’t help but be changed. I experienced the layer of loss death provides, and its hard not to acknowledge the lessons inherent in death, and dying. Not our own, so much as our experiences as we move … Continue reading The 3rd Law Of Life After Death
I believe, maybe, I am in need of a re-entrance to the world of my peers; at least a smidge. You know, I probably know about as much about modern series , new movies, and music as you. That’s awful. I guess I feel like an odd-ball, not many of me out there, you know. I’m completely out of touch. C O M P L … Continue reading Benedict Could Eat Crackers In My Bed
I broke down, couldn’t handle it any longer. This sense of creative suppression, this feeling of being trapped by devices that seemed to be closing me in, and cutting me off from every artistic spark I had, piece by piece, bit by bit. First world problems, as it were, but annoying as hell. Over the course of the last few months, both of my eReader/tablet … Continue reading The Clouds And I
Don’t know where my mind is you know Mom. Walked in to the grocery store with the intention of buying Irish her food, which I did, and then walked out of the store without it. Got half way through the parking lot before I realized my arms were rather light in the feed the dog department. Had to march back in and retrieve. Rolling of … Continue reading The Bouncy Blond Bombshell And I
I have this jar of kosher pickles in my fridge I can’t open. It sits at the back of the fridge, taunting me since I moved here in 2013. I refuse to throw them out, and I refuse to ask for help. It’s become personal. I WILL open that jar of kosher pickles. I WILL. In a way, I suppose it’s become this ultimate challenge. … Continue reading Suck It Up Buttercup
Last year at this time I was pining for that blue.eyed boy. Confused, and after such a tantalizing embrace shared Christmas Day, angry at, AGAIN, feeling foolish and betrayed. But all that is well behind me today. Yet, this year also offered hot flash hell fueled days and nights, and many falls, bruised and battered knees and broken bones, alongside my foolish heart. But all … Continue reading This Rotten, No Good Year Is Almost Over
SEPTEMBER 14th, 2014: Sauntering thru the village this sunny morn, and I come across a wonderful thing, a plant exchange. This place is where my heart strayed you know. Right to this street, within the heart of this Village. We say we will pray we have time but often don’t. Few are able (willing?) to sacrifice anything to achieve their hearts desire. Perhaps it stems from … Continue reading Happiness Is A Habit
Lying open, face down on the wall in the bathroom beside the toilet, oft would be found your current read; sometimes accompanied by a cigarette, that was still going. Just shocking that I too smoke, don’t you think Mom? Than, when I was in my late teens you gave me that Roger Zelazny series, The Chronicles of Amber, for my birthday. I’d never heard of … Continue reading How To Grow A Reader
by PaulaB 