Ball Caps and Grass Seed

English: Cherokee Heritage Center ( Tahlequah ...
English: Cherokee Heritage Center ( Tahlequah / Oklahoma ). Adams Corner village: General store – service counter. Deutsch: Cherokee Heritage Center ( Tahlequah / Oklahoma ). Adams Corner: Gemischtwarenladen – Ladentheke. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Boy walks past the window of this General Store in his hometown and sees a sign in the window advertising “HELP WANTED”.

So he walks up the rickety old stairs and opens the screen door, and hears the “dingle dingle dingle” of the little bells attached to the hinge. Behind the counter is a grey-headed, stooped over old man with his back to the door fiddling with something behind on the counter.

Young boy says “excuse me Sir, but I saw the ad in the window and I would like to apply – what does the job entail”?

Old Man turns around upon hearing the boy, reaches up and lowers his glasses, and squints at him across the counter.

“Well boy, my name is Sam and this is my general store and you will be doing alot of things. That is to say, selling alot of different things. Do you have any experience in sales”?

“No Sir”.

“Well then, you just come around this counter now. Bob the barber just called and he’s looking for a case of rubbing alcohol, now you just stand back and watch and learn”.

Dingle dingle dingle goes the screen door, and in walks a large man with a big belly, and bald as a bat.

“Hey Bob, I have the case right here you requested. Now, we just received this new shipment of ball caps, and I set this Maple Leafs one aside just for you. I know how much you love your Hockey”.

“Well now, that is fantastic Sam. How did you know? That old one of mine I ripped to shreds last night after that horrible loss to Boston in the Stanley Cup Play-offs”.

“Bob, we’ve been friends a long time. Now the Second Annual Village Golf Tournament is coming up this Saturday, did you ever get the five-iron straightened out after you lost last year? No?, well just come over here and lets pick out a new one”.

So Sam rang up the sale and after Bob had left he turns to the boy and says “So, do you think you can do that son? That is known in the biz as UPSELLING. You saw that he came in for just that rubbing alcohol, but in the end I made $350″.

” YES SIR, I know I can.”

“Ok boy, I have to go out for a couple of hours and run some errands. I know your Mom and if one cent is missing from the cash I’ll come and skin your hide, got it? While I’m gone I want you to practice your sales technique and when I get back we’ll see about a permanent position.”

Once Sam has left, the boy decides to take a look around the store to see what sort of products are available for sale. He saw everything from lawn mowers, to rubber bands, some pharmacy items like the rubbing alcohol, and a whole assortment of other such products. Being a GENERAL Store means it has quite a varied selection to choose from. The boy becomes rather nervous  and is unsure exactly how he is going to do.

DINGLE DINGLE DINGLE of the screen door.

In walks a middle age man he knows, Mr. Lang who coaches his soccer team.

“Hey BOY, where’s Sam? I’m looking for some grass seed?”

“I’m helping him out today actually, looking to get maybe a permanent position. What sort of seed are you looking for?”

“Oh, well, good for you for taking the initiative. What type? Whatever you got”.

“Ok, so here’s a new variety that is Low Maintenance and helps to cut down on water usage. It’s on Sale I see too. ”

“Fantastic, good for you. You know boy how I like to save money”.  So Mr. Lang (who’s been the whole while standing in front of the Feminine Hygiene Products) grabs something and proceeds to walk to the counter to settle up the bill.

The boy sees what he has in his hands, and blushing, decides he’ll try to upsell him as Sam taught him.

“Now, Mr. Lang, my Mom says that you’re an avid fishermen…? Well, you are in luck because Sam just got in this new line of fishing reels and rods, and seeing that Mrs. Langs on the rag, and you ain’t getting no nooky this weekend anyhow, you might as well get out-of-town and go fishing.”

Inspired by the Daily Prompt: Ha Ha Ha

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