Sometimes

…I truly believe we are all doomed. Yet, inside me is this positive spirit that always works its damnedest to persuade me otherwise.

Just this morning I learned my camera is gone forever. Silly me accidentally left it in the cab that took me home from a visit back to Dodge over the weekend. Dad and MsB are up for a visit, and we all had an ol’fashion North Carolina bbq, with cornbread, and NASCAR. YEEHAA.

AND damn it all, I got up in the morning and realized my camera did not come home with me, and my sister confirmed it wasn’t there.

Now I know…I’ve been dreading this answer all week. And to the poor guy who ACTUALLY called me back, when he said he was sorry but the driver and the driver in the car today said there was nothing, I do apologize. I said…”Well, I hope who ever took its soul rots in hell“.

Damn it all. Now here I sit cameraless, trying to come to some positive terms to process this.

I really wanted to have faith, but even so I took a peek this morning at some online electronic stores to see what’s out there, and how much.

Look on the bright side I suppose…I can now justify a new camera, whereas I couldn’t really before. I don’t have the budget for something fancy, but I honestly don’t need anything fancy, just convenient. So I guess I can obsess over that purchase now for a bit. I have a couple crappy backups, but I will need to get a new main model to utilize for close-up and detail shots.

It still really angers me. I know someone took it, and it makes me almost ashamed at myself for being so angry about that. So much I have lost I guess, some merely simple physical objects, yet I’m just sometimes I suppose so disillusioned with the world.

You know the funny thing? I once left something in a cab in Mississauga (suburbs of Toronto), and actually me and the cabbie became friends. Good guy – honest, unique, and interesting. Big ol’ bad city, but I got my shite back. Now, same thing happens in London the little, and BIG SURPRISE, you might as well kiss honesty goodbye. I’m really honestly, truly, the last one to judge anyone. I can forgive, perhaps not forget, I’m normally a very patient sort.

I shall not make a bigger deal of this than it is. Nothing to be done now I suppose. I’m not going to let another’s greed infect me anymore than it already has. I will see it as an opportunity instead.

So in compensation for that person’s greed, I am going to go out today and buy a plant. I have a wee budget of $10 in toonie coins to spend, and one shady spot for it to go. Not sure on success in that arena, but we’ll see. I decided I needed to dig in the dirt, get my nails dirty, and smell the moist soggy ground again. I want to give back, and maybe in the process bring happiness – both to myself and to others who may visit this little spot. As well, I want to send out only good vibes. And may those good vibes fly their way across this vast continent, and give some peace to a fellow blogger who could do with some I imagine.

For Rara…may she always soar. And in truly Rara fashion, I’m certain I’m breaking all the rules of the challenge, but ah vell.

For RaraSaur

O DIM DELICIOUS HEAVEN OF DREAMS -- THE LAND OF BOYHOOD'S DEWEY GLOW --- AGAIN I HEAR YOUR TORRENT STREAMS THROUGH PURPLE GORGE AND VALLEY FLOW, WHILST FRESH THE MOUNTAIN BREEZES BLOW. ABOVE THE AIR SMILES SHARP AND CLEAR -- THE SILENT LUCID SPRING IT CHILLS BUT UNDERNEATH, MOVE WARM AMIDST THE BASES OF THE HILLS.

by John O'Donnell Irish Poet (1837-1874)

6 thoughts on “Sometimes

  1. I was reading through these posts written in my absence, finally, and then got to the end where you said you were breaking the rules of the challenge in Rara fashion, and I laughed. Happy laughter and grateful tears. Thank you. ❤

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    • I missed your wit and your wonderful posts. Haven’t been the best (or have ever been) at keeping up on posts, commenting etc…but you’ve often been in my thoughts and prayers. 🙂

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    • And my condolences Rara. This grief is one that will never entirely leave you, just so you know. I am stunned by your resilience, your strength is inspiring. Take care of yourself 🙂

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  2. Pingback: Oh Ye (me) Of Little Faith (Revisited) | the TEMENOS JOURNAL

  3. Sorry about the camera, Paula. Love the idea of buying a plant to retaliate for the greed of another. Thanks for the beautiful song for Rara. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

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    • {{{hugs}}} back at you Kozo. Yeah, losing the camera sucked, but ah well. I don’t have a whole lot, but I can send prayers and good vibes to Rara…least I can do.

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