Where I Live And Breath

Now the dog got a walk, the dishes got done, and groceries too. I had a good dinner, and the kitchen looks rather tidy. Bit tired, but it was a successful weekend, all in all. Short week ahead, so feeling rather punky this morn in anticipation. I got all my shopping done finally, and, I got it mostly done right here in the village. Just jaunted across the road, and down a block and between two little stores right at the heart, I came away with some nice things.

The finale was on Saturday night, as I’d had my eye on two of my friends copper pieces…and I can’t wait to give them to the girls. Such natural beauty wrought in copper makes for a tantalizing mix to my eye. I love his work, and do wish I liked to wear jewelry, but I actually wear it rarely. I collect now only, and I am now particular and only buy works of art. I figure if I am going to wear a necklace it may as well be something special, and not some piece crafted in servitude way off in some South Asian country.

On my stroll through the village yesterday afternoon, Irish and I swung left, turned right, then left and I lazily journeyed to and fro along the old south sidewalks. It was as we were coming back down the main streetway that my heart rose into my throat and I almost felt like puking, for they’re getting out of a ragged work truck up at the corner was none other than Mr.Blue.Eyes. Nice. Well that almost wrecked my day. Then out of the corner of my eye, as I was cashing out at the grocery store later on, I catch a glimpse of this figure in black with a backpack on his shoulder. Him again. Good thing I was leaving, and I didn’t get t see his face nor his curly golden locks. Who knows what would have transpired, and I was in no mood for that sort of shite.

So Mom, you can be proud of me, as not one text has left my phone. Not one, not even an attempt. I was twice tempted, but could come up with nothing to say, and no purpose could I find in the act. It would accomplish nothing, and could be right back in the middle of somewhere I really didn’t want to be. Hurt as I may be at this ending, I recognize the altruism of staying away from someone that’s not ready for you. Not nearly ready for the wilde childe I am at heart. And besides, I deserve better than him. There is a part of me that recognizes more now those instances of compromise I often partake in, only to find my partner is not so gracious.

And of course my last dream of the night, the flashing images that stay with me even now, where of him. No concrete memories of these dreams, no, just knowledge that he was present in them, and stood centre stage from what I can recall.

Again I say, hurrah for holidays, and blessed be they who grant me my holidays…I need a mental break. It will be nice to have 6 days in a row of no work…I just need six… any more and I wouldn’t want to go back.

My other job these last days before Christmas is to buy sugar, and stay away from that guy who haunts these village streets of mine. Oh, and I’ve been instructed from the younger sister unit that I MUST brush the fluffy bastard…so the blond bombshell will get a good going over perhaps this eve after work.

Should go now and get ready for work Mom. They say that now after Winter Solstice that the days once again begin to inch forward, and grow longer. Thanks be to that, as I find these winter days so uninspiring. Days as yesterday, those rare sunny days that refresh your holiday spirit. Wish me luck, and the strength to just get through these three days ahead without screaming, or having a meltdown. Blessed be to that.

Always,

Paula

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