Cuddling Up With Myself

Curiosity got the better of me, and I admit I did pop in for a peek into that dating site I joined. Certainly there are attractive men who’ve shown interest, yet meh. I’m not sure yet I am a dating site kinda gal.

I have learned some lessons the last few months Mom though, one of them being that dating sites are like standing in the freezer section at the grocery store, picking out a frozen dinner – you’re hungry, but all you see before you is row on row of unappealing, cardboard fare.

I do believe that everyone you meet serves some sort of purpose though.

So, texted me this week…You know I would have treated you like gold. That was the theme of his conquest… that he would spoil me, and drive me to work, and all these wonderful things. Yet, meshed in with all that was of course the sexting, and driving me to work would mean co-habitation (since he lived on the other side of the city), and given we just met, at least to my mind, his pushiness spelt trouble.

Also, on reflection, dating site guys approach was rather similar to my actions with Mr.Blue.Eyes. Ahem. Like a dog chasing a car, I knew what I wanted and was gung-ho on achieving those ends, regardless of the consequences. Lesson learned. Not listening to my own advice…what is for you will not pass you by.

There was a certain something about Mr.Blue.Eyes though, and there is a theme developing. Now, the difficult bit is to untangle what exactly it is I find attractive, and where to find that sort of guy. Well, and find that sort of guy without all the baggage dragging behind him.

I also now realize that the ingredient that’s been missing often in my past relationships is friendship. Research backs that up. In an article I read this morning online at the Globe and Mail it states that people who are married to their best friend (BFF) are happier.

In a new research paper published by the National Bureau of Economic Research, he {Prof. Helliwell) and colleague Shawn Grover conclude not only that marriage does make people happier, but that being married to your best friend makes you extra happy. The same goes for people who live together. “Those who are best friends with their partners have the largest well-being benefits from marriage and cohabitation, even when controlling for premarital well-being levels,” they write.

So, I guess I need to change my tactics.

However, in the meantime, these winter months I suppose will find me cuddled up alone, and today I’m not so against that. I’ve never feared being alone, I just haven’t wanted to be. But that constant back and forth annoying texting/sexting hammered home for me that I really want more than what most men have to offer.

AND I learned that once again texting is an annoying and limiting means of communication. I’ve also learned I am much better at identifying controlling men, which I admit was a worry after Tim.

So I believe its time to take a step back and regroup.



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