when cancelling isn’t necessarily a bad thing

Well, how bout that, I suppose I will just have to sit here and watch these clouds drift by on my own. Plans fell through, and he has to work. That other me would have been sad. He’s threatened to come before, so I half expected it. Still though, point being, I’m OK with it. Actually, perhaps releaved, a little.

Perhaps old lovers should stay in the past.

He started texting last year sometime; and this strange on again, off again, circling each other through social media almost exclusively, began with one accidentally dialed call.

Perhaps I’m releaved as the anticipation can sometimes be the best part. Also, I do have to wonder why the renewed interest now? Now that I’m not just down the street? Not just a phone call away? More interesting now am I? I do wonder. I do.

His intentions aside, I admit I don’t know if I am reluctant to sacrifice my solitude for him; don’t believe he’s worthy of it any longer, and perhaps never was.

He texted me he couldn’t make it whilst I was busy deciding what to wear, and upon reading the text my first thought was good, I can wear whatever the hell I want all day. So I changed back into whatever the hell I want, took the dog for a walk at Euston Meadow, came back and read for a bit, napped, and spent some time watching clouds.

My relationship corner has been pitiful of late, with crossroads man fizzling out, and hard to meet new people when one rarely goes out. I have begun to almost jealously guard this solitude it took me so long to warm up to.

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