Wee Wanker Barks A Lot And Other Learnings From My Rookie Year as A Chihuahua Mom

So, apparently lil’P ‘doesn’t like her lilac sweater. Ms picky pup maybe thinks it’s too girly for her? Anywho, basically, she just kept walking out of it whenever she got a chance, I’d turn around and there she’d left it on the ground in her wake… naked and fancy-free.

I guess she prefers this plaid one I bought on sale end of last winter that makes her look like a walking place mat. Whatever. Chi’s are cold sensitive and, well, it’s cute and yes I’m now one of those people who likes to dress their little doggy in cute outfits, what of it?

There you go, learn something new every day about myself. Well, least this year. Lots, and lots of learnings.

So, her older sis Rosie has it now. Rosie lost her Unicorn sweater, and, well those dang things are pricey, eh?

Rosie loves it, wore it the whole day when we were there. She is leaner and taller, and she looks really rather smashing.

Pika and Rosie aren’t littermates, they are about a year and a bit apart. So, lil’P is, in fact, the runt of ALL the litters, as her momma won’t be havin’ no more childrens, she was the last.

So, now, did you know that Chihuahuas are like Siamese Cats, and they are breed snobs, and prefer their own kind?

Like back in the day I’d walk past the pet shop in the mall, and see all the Siamese on one side, the domestic on the other, huddled together, Siamese lording it over them, even as teensy weensy mites of fluff, they are prejudice.

But Chi’s are the same, they prefer playing with other Chihuahuas. And, holy crap, they play HARD.

Couple weeks ago, over visiting Rosies human mom, and her and lil’P spent the entire day racing around and around and around, up on their hind legs, do a bit of a jig, and then off again and racing around and around, and Pika goes down into submissive pose, and Rosie comes in for the “kill”, and off they go again, round and around.

They are a riot to watch, like, wow, two hours non-stop, a bit of a break, and off they’d go again.

Now, for obvious reasons, Pika is totally burnt the next day {WINNING} and spends the whole day snoozing.

You seriously have no idea how soothing that is. Like, absolutely a day of Zen Buddhist kind of quiet… Ooooommmm.

Cause, let me tell you. They have a whole lot of energy. Seriously, not quite Australian Sheep dog energy, but damn near close I would imagine.

Old friend of the family says I was nuts to get a Chihuahua, and I don’t dispute that. I am, nuts.

Yet, you know, she is also sweet as honey right from the hive, and every night curls up in a ball behind me in bed, right under the covers, and doesn’t budge the whole night. She’s got my back, as it were.

Well, kind of. Atleast if anyone does break in and try to steal me, they will know well in advance that she’s there. And, I will know they are trying to steal me, so there’s that.

Also, like cats, they can very easily pee/poo indoors. Like, on a doggy pee pad that is. Which, holy batman and robin, that is such a bonus feature.

It’s a necessity too, actually, to pee pad train them, as their wee bladders are so small, even Rosie who is outside trained, she still pees inside.

Like, pees inside on my goddamn bed even though I have it ringed in pillows so lil’P can’t get up there and eat a hole in my sheets.

Rosie was over last night, and she can easily clear my bed fort defences in one easy leap, and why on earth she pees on my phuken bed I have no clue, but she does. Every. Single. Time.

Thank god, my friend doesn’t bring her over very often. Like. Really eh?

Good thing bad thing. Pee/poo inside, BUT, I do like to generally acknowledge reality, so pee pad training her was high on my list, as my friend had Rosie well before, and, yeah, she apparently didn’t get the memo about NOT PEEING ON SHYTE.

Ok, sure, Pika does like to, for what reason I have no clue, but likes to drag her poolets out into the spot on my wooden floor where I walk to go to the bathroom, or to my bed, or from my bed going to the kitchen. So, little chi poo on my toes is common.

Therefore, went out and got myself a supply of dollar store sleepers. Cause, like DOH, drag-her-poo just may eat them – the slippers that is, well, and the poo too – so why bother spending good money on nice ones.

Well, not to mention they probably have oodles of chi poo on the bottom and, therefore only have a certain shelf life.

Now, that nasty stereotype about Chihuahuas being yappy lil arseholes who like to bark in their high-pitched way at all times of the day about nothing?

All true. Totally, abso-phuken-lootly bang on.

So, a few times a day, she earns herself a time out so mommy doesn’t ring her wee little blawdy neck.

Time out’s are a fun activity where I fool her into thinking I’m taking her outside, so I can lure the little flying monkey to my grasp and gently shove her little bum in her crate, with a loving… there you go sweetheart, good girl, nappy time shove.

Ya ya ya, not supposed to use her crate as a punishment, but, whatever. She never goes in there when I’m gone for extended times, as I use my bathroom as her kennel.

And, she likes her crate. I have a doggy bed in there for her and I put a towel down to cover the door, so it’s like a cozy little doggy cave. She goes in there on her own all the time, just, because.

For instance, will be quiet, I’ve been busy doing something and I’ll notice she’s AWOL and go on a hunt, and that’s where she’ll be. Curled up inside.

But, thing is, back to that got my back thing, Chihuahua’s do have superior hearing skills, as a squirrel can be on HER sidewalk out my door and I’ll know about it.. Oh, yes, I will certainly know about it. I mean, she can’t see out the door cause she’s too short (thank f’in god), so there is no other way she can know except hearing their little tree-rat feet.

Another plus is she eats a lot less.

Well, she also eats socks, shoelaces, and bed sheets.

Yes, and food, she eats less food. Course, that cost is offset by the pee pad purchase. But, hey, win some, lose some.

Oh, and wee furry knickerdoodles that love to curl up beside me on the chair are always welcome.

And, yes, they do bite your damn ankles, and I can’t wear long pants around her cause she’d hang off them, and therefore I now wear pedal pushers around the house out of practicality. Well, not to mention, growing up in an old drafty house, I find most apartment neighbours are actually lizards and need to have the communally shared heat up WAAAY too high, therefore they are cooler than long pants.

I mean, sure, it’d keep her busy, but I am rather against dragging Chihuahua’s around the house as leg exercise.

So, all in all, as a pandemic companion, she rates a solid 4 stars, overall.

Couldn’t ask for a better dog to keep me on my toes, you know? I mean, certainly, whatever would I do with all the time I’d save picking up little puppy poos, and finding clever ways to lure her out from under my furniture so I can shove her narly ass in her crate? Like seriously?

And, she is cute as a button and a riot to walk. She is a raging lunatic, and does these spins and twirls and happy go lucky skip-to-my loo’s, just as we’re out the door, and down the sidewalk, she’s busy twirling and whirling, turn the corner, still at it, and she is just a hoot.

I mean, I have not laughed this hard, so often, at any other dog.

Sure, she’s the daemon love child of a Siamese cat and the wicked witch of the west flying monkey, but, hey.

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