I’m not one for “revising”. I mean, seems like a wasteful endeavor, certainly something my Grandmother would have disapproved of. I have definitely said and done various things I have later regretted. Fighting with Grandma the night before she died was certainly in that category. I was 17 though and I forgave myself long ago. That ate me up for a while. I learned from it, and I grew up and learned to be more grateful. Our whole family in turn each had regretted something they said or did leading up to her death. We all learned to say “I Love You” more. To this day we always say “I Love you” at the end of a call. My sister has even called back, just to say it. :)
I wish Neil Young hadn’t done that “robot” album; caused him a lot of grief at the time, and it was downright AWFUL. Yet, I read in one biography that he was inspired with electronic sound because of his work with electronics with toy trains. Young had built this whole intricate and GIGANTIC model train “village” for his disabled son. He believed that all children should have a chance to play. So he rigged up a big BUTTON that his son could use to control some of the basic functions of the train. Very cool. So all things have a purpose. Changing one string in the fabric of your own past could unravel everything, and leave ya naked as the day you were born…and then where would you be?
No, this one took some careful thought. If I could change something it would be to go back to neverland when my girlfriend Clare was going through all her “stuff”, I would have called her more. Maybe even gone so far as to have once gone out of my comfort zone and taken a bus down to visit her. Just once. Years later now we have completely lost touch. I regret not trying harder when she really needed me.
I mean if I really want to go back and pick off some scabs we could poke around in that time of my life some more. That place in time has a lot of old wounds, from a long time ago in a land far far away. I won’t though. All that has been lying on the road somewhere WAY behind me, I’m not going back for that, its long gone out my “gunny sac”.
If any revising is done for me, its to scrap away some of the horrible memories of some of their nastiness, to take the sting out for later on. I mean, time does that in its own course, so I’m not sure if that qualifies “strickly” as revisionist…but we do either remember the good more than the bad, or vice versa. Some of us are positive in our outlook, and some prefer to wallow in their transgressions.