Freeing my ego from my soul

Riddle me this, why if I can just cut and paste a quote into a wordpress.com post, don’t I? Why do I feel the need to jot down the quote first in my new journal, THAN cut and paste the quote into a new post?

My feelings are actually caught between excitement at the blawdy fantastic journal I bought at the liquidation world for $4 , and some esoteric hoogy-moogy about finding the inner dialogue in a piece of writing…you know the whole art of writing things down on actual paper with a pen helps us to ingest things more fully, I think…least it does for me.

Disease is inertia. Healing is movement. If you put the body in motion, you will change. You are meant to move: from flowing to staccato, through chaos into lyrical and back into the stillness from which all movement comes.

If you let your heart be moved, be open to the risk and the adventure of feelings, letting them work through to completion, you will change. Tears turn into smiles, anger into embraces.

If you free your mind to experience and complete each of your life cycles, integrating their teachings and tasks, you will change. It’s when you stop moving through life that you get caught out-of-place, that you react to adult situations with childhood emotions. Moving completely through your life makes you whole.
Gabrielle Roth (2 / 4 / 41—–10 / 22 / 12)

Keyboard and Journal

Now the other super fantastic wonderfulness of this day is working its beautiful little piano black self under my finger tips. I FINALLY bought a new wireless keyboard and mouse. I am now the proud owner of a Microsoft Wireless 800 Desktop…I used to be a techno-geek and working for a major IT distributor undoubtedly didn’t help matters, actually it was an asset. However, over the last 4 years I have maybe touched a computer or a cell phone, well, I can count it probably on 1 hand…and I am not joking. I didn’t use the internet really, cause we didn’t have the internet. When I logged onto Facebook or got email I was in a library … somewhere…usually a hospital.

{Owen Sound Hospital, BTW, has a small library where you could log in, AND they sold used books for a $1 WOOOHOOO. I love me a cheap, wonderfully smelly old book. Loved corners, LOVE to JOHN or BETH…written sometimes on the inside cover.}

Seriously, working on the old piece of sheet keyboard was driving me loony. I feel like I’m FffLlllLyyyyying on this thing. Oh, to have not sticky keys and not have to ram it into the desk drawer to get it to respond. To not feel like throwing it out the window, or across the room, or twist it until it snaps and shatters keys everywhere….OH, the sweet JOY.

The mouse died sometime last month. I smashed the dang thing on the desk so many times the door that holds the batteries in finally snapped; I was holding the batteries in with masking tape the last few days before christmas. On the last day I was at my sisters I begged her for a mouse. Wired even….which is what I got. But today we went SHOPPIN’ and for the first time I think in my life I actually enjoyed myself. Getting groceries even…go figure dem apples.

OR…maybe I am just so happy with my new keyboard that I’m white washing the whole day. That is entirely possible, and would not be the first time. I’m just looking for any excuse to type type type…type type type…type alittle more. Oh. You are probably so bored now reading this…but EVEN …see right there…I got to use a caps key….OH MY GOD…that was so wonderful.

{sorry…I’ll stop now.}

Happy/sad/Happy/sad….all the way home. Now that I’m home home I feel jovial….full of mirth…writing in a new journal always fills me with hope, renewal…its like a rebirth. Course also I bought a new PEN. AT THE LIQUIDATION store. 2 wonderful Gel pens for $1.29. I don’t even know if that is a deal, I don’t even care. I’m in love.

Now back to a coherent topic…or the one that allows me to USE MY NEW KEYBOARD….hehehe

That quote up there is important because 1. It is the first entry in my NEW journal 2. It speaks to me on soooo many levels.

First of all…the first date, Gabrielle Roth’s birthday…the 2/4….was my ex-husbands birthday, February 4th (different year). The second date, Gabrielle Roth’s death date….was 4 days after Tim’s death date October 18, 2012. Tim and I were together 4 years…met October 2nd. October, October, October, let me count the ways you really have come to suck. Now if you want to read the whole quote, I read it at ShamanTube on Facebook HERE.

I don’t know if that holds any significance, but it is odd. The funny thing is I didn’t even realize the dates until I had finished reading…but I took notes as I was reading it the first time IN MY NEW JOURNAL….with MY NEW PEN 😉 . Didn’t register even right away…than I looked again and went, “wait a minute…isn’t that…”

Considering that soooo much happened today, and not just the means by which I write, the truths of which I write about have manifested their own truths, lets say. For lack of any coherent other way of explaining it. Truths as wells as epiphanies and alot of what that quote is saying. {Oh my god I love the way this keyboard feels when I’m resting my hands on it, thinking} Changing, movement, chaos…and in the words of GABRIELLE ROTH …

“Free(ing) the soul from the ego”

which I will write about in the coming days. Needs to digest first though. Maybe write about it in my NEW JOURNAL…with MY NEW PEN 😉 ….{simple-minded moron your thinking now}

Over and out from the LAKE

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6 thoughts on “Freeing my ego from my soul

    • Haha Lulu ….. ALSO ..I got new hair colour ON SALE…bought shallotts and a K-Cup Earl Gray Tea {wondering if they spiked it with something other than Bergamot though}.

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  1. There are a lot of things I like in this piece – and I also do write quotes almost every day in my journal – yes, it helps me to write them, and to see them written in handwriting – something soothing about that… 😉

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    • Thank you…all woe and no mirth makes Paula a dull lass. Simple pleasures. I read your about page comment concerning awards…well stated. I feel uncomfortable accepting awards myself. Not because I don’t appreciate them though. I like your kind acknowledgment, but decline. I was struggling with how to word a decline…you have inspired me.

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      • I know, I got the inspiration from another blogger – so many awards! and then you send them to so many others! The best thing I heard yet was the comment – “All bloggers deserve all awards, so I can’t pick any single one.”

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  2. Pingback: Life, Love and the Art and Angst of Writing | The Temenos Journal

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