I can't describe the feeling,
because it is so new. 
It has manifested
 out of the selfish acts of men, 
and silly notions.
I am not fit
 for consumption, 
by men. 

They may fawn and fiddle
 and display their desire,
 I see through that gauzy veneer.

I WILL NOT...I say...
loud enough so only I can hear.
I struggle with the words, 
the feelings,
the fears.

I WILL NOT...I say...

loud and crisp
 full of a certainty I do not feel, 
yet. 

I look at my feet
 and wear my hair up. 
I still my rhythm;
 the vibe goes on,
 without me.

I practice
 humility;
 I watch.
 I listen.

Friends don't leave
not like lovers do.

Like a mantra
 those words resonate.