Back when I was 19 I thought that when I fell in love that, of course, it would be forever. Prince Charming would waltz in at some pre-ordained moment, magic would spark and the very air would tingle, and, and, yeah, what a naive putz I was. So far has not worked out that way. Not by a long shot. Love, actually, has been as … Continue reading Never Fall In Love With A Mean Drunk Artist With A Broken Heart
I’ve sat here for the last half hour pondering what I wish to write about; heck, I’ve been pondering it for days. Everything inside my head is disjointed. On the bus the other day I got thinking about all the loves of my life. From the short-lived trysts, the long-winded disasters, each have defined a particular time in my life. Maybe that’s it? That THEY … Continue reading Princes & Pirates & Paupers
When I first met Tim his life was about drugs, music, late nights and alcohol – and it was that life that ultimately killed him. I’d always been attracted to the music scene, and still love the energy of live music. Thus it was that I became entangled in the life he led. Yet, in time I realized that Tim’s life was not out front, but rather out … Continue reading Confessions Of A Caregiver
I can’t describe the feeling, because it is so new. It has manifested out of the selfish acts of men, and silly notions. I am not fit for consumption, by men. They may fawn and fiddle and display their desire, I see through that gauzy veneer. I WILL NOT…I say… loud enough so only I can hear. I struggle with the words, the feelings, the … Continue reading On Flying Solo
When I began this blog I intended to somehow, eventually, try to describe Tim. It was atleast one, of a myriad of other reason’s. Yet I’ve stumbled on it. I haven’t known where to start. How do I describe someone who sometimes I’m not even sure I knew? Tim kept his cards close, rarely giving you any idea of what he was really up to. … Continue reading My Tim
More snow squalls today, I don’t watch the news really anymore so no idea if we’ll get any. I do need to go into town soon, as my supplies are running low, to nil. Nil in the toilet paper category, coffee running low. Toilet paper is being substituted by paper towel. Nice. Coffee is now being supplied via the french press, rather than the Keurig. … Continue reading Trapped in Paradise
“You know, Uncle, I’ve lost whole parts of myself since we are traveling together. Layers & layers of “ME” gone. Peeled away, discarded, surplus to requirements. Is that what travelling does? Brings us back to what we truly are?” [“THE ROM: WALKING IN THE PATHS OF THE GYPSIES” ROGER MOREAU] As you pause a memory filters through. As if they reside in subconscious breaking through … Continue reading The Lady of the Cellar | Part Two
I am hiding something in the cellar. A bench a piano bench. I am broken. In a night full of shame; after I left. THREE TIMES. I tried to walk away. couldn’t this time. WHY? Now I am alone with the truth. Continue reading I am a broken piano bench
“Only when the heart is still is the journey over… and even then …there are rivers to cross.” Charles DeLint, from ‘Spiritwalk’ Of muddled myths, Helium Spheres, broken friendships and unconquered dreams, define this time. The time that had passed, I look back today and see the rocky waves of emotions, smashed dreams, and broken hearts. This time that had passed became a sort of … Continue reading The Lady of the Cellar | Part One
And from where I stand… A fraction of time spent in innocence, we spend in wonder of ourselves. In beliefs instilled to haunt us, we break at the bonds that hold us. From distant lands of imagination, the world spins by unnoticed, until the spiral tightens, and we are faced with our own creation. From there we see the future and know the absence and … Continue reading Lost in Helium Spheres | Part One
Didn’t really feel like writing anything today. Didn’t think I wanted to. But I’m bored stiff, so why not. I’m going to copy today the next entry in my saga with Tim. To summarize, this journal was written over the course of 2 years. It records our experiences, and my reflections, on our journey with Tim’s Pancreatic cancer. BUT, as for today….More rain. More blawdy … Continue reading December 21, 2010 – My Irish Rover & Me
This posting below begins the “medical” part of our journey. Maybe by writing this all down, I can help someone. Who knows. I guess the only way for that to happen is if I put it out there. Eh? One NOTE – I will occasionally make comments – these will appear in ” { } “. First, one word about ‘the Frankenstorm’ Sandy. LOL….13 hours … Continue reading Dec 19 2010 – Then & Now
by PaulaB 