Progressing through these posts, one by one, with a little trepidation, and reading each only maybe twice through, first to read and then again to fix the most garish mistakes and not touch them again, after adding my two cents, or a dollar’s worth. Of these days of early spring I do recall but hazily, as consumed was my mind on that leaving of a … Continue reading The 21st: Before The Dawn Of Simplicity
Been raining since the dawn, as I began to hear the pitter patter of it outside my window, and so it rained all day. I find myself inside, admiring a refresh of the wee abode, with the harmonizing of my colour scheme and hence given me OOooooMmmmm moments of happiness as I pass through from room to room. Simple things, little things, but big things, … Continue reading … and a 22nd: On Losing A Friend
After I’d quit my dead-end dreary job that had tormented my very soul, he fed me, listening to the CBC on the radio in his dirty kitchen, stuff from his life laid bare before us, scattered across the table. Without him, I could not have done it, would not have quit, I at the very least would have starved if I’d even had the courage. … Continue reading Saying Goodbye To A Friend
Originally I’d gone over due to my heat being off, again, and yesterday the bitter north wind battered my apartment and to avoid the onset of hypothermia I decided to go over to D3’s to warm up and woke up this morning on his futon, with him pinned up behind me so as not to lie on his fresh laundry that lay in a pile … Continue reading Sex, Vinyl Nor Cold Shall Dampen Epiphanies
It was a long time ago, and it is far far away, yet still, I remember that day. It defined me. Its tattooed on my soul, probably. It was the day I found out how cruel the world could be, how alone we all really are, and that we should learn that ultimately we are on our own, usually just when you need someone the … Continue reading The Significance Of Just One
So for part three of this best of series I chose this one I suppose because of its truth and healing. This series took me back to one of the most difficult times, at the close of the 20th century. Posted originally January 2nd, 2013, was another time of great change. I guess I am proudest of these posts. After the Helium posts I carried … Continue reading The Best Of ¦ part 3 in three parts
I’ve worked on a phone, whether it be customer service or sales, for almost 25 years now. In that time, I’ve learned something important – I deal with men a lot easier than with women. Which is interesting, because I tend to as well have more male friends than female. I don’t deal as well with most females, and I don’t have very many close … Continue reading On Learning How To Make Friends
Today is the 4 month anniversary of my first post October 26, 2012. Three months ago I reformatted and moved that first post into the page THE PROLOGUE. That was a direct response to the reality of what this blog had become for me. The prologue was a sort of eulogy I wrote to give to the Anglican priest who was performing the service at … Continue reading I’m Four Months Old
When Paul had his first breakdown it started to crumble an already weakened foundation, and in time the four became three, then just two, and today our worlds are completely separate. There was a time though when that was not so. There was a time when the circle was complete and all four musketeers were harmonizing to The Nylons or dancing the Tango in shadow … Continue reading Lost in Helium Spheres | Conclusion
I realize as I am wandering through these pages that there are today threads entangled still within my present. As much as I let go of so much already, there are still a few small unhealed wounds … and they started around this time. Paul had become an important part of my life for almost 6 years, over half of my marriage. The flowing strains … Continue reading Lost in Helium Spheres | Part Three
“Pathologizing psyche is not wrong…and to realize deeply that it is not wrong, but rather necessary, is healing” James Hillman IN DAYS SPENT I found myself cascading off mountains, plummeting down towards anger, uplifting my eyes to guilt, surrendering to helpless stagnation.Looking into the eyes of maniacal loss. A sweeping denial; dulled vision. Possible continuation swaying in the breeze. Doors of life and death are … Continue reading Lost in Helium Spheres | Part Two
Sticky post
And from where I stand… A fraction of time spent in innocence, we spend in wonder of ourselves. In beliefs instilled to haunt us, we break at the bonds that hold us. From distant lands of imagination, the world spins by unnoticed, until the spiral tightens, and we are faced with our own creation. From there we see the future and know the absence and … Continue reading Lost in Helium Spheres | Part One
Found two more old journals stored away in the attic back at the homestead. Have spent the last few hours since I got back this afternoon “strolling” down memory lane. Found more old pictures of Tim and I from that first year we were here at the cottage, 2009, plus lots of good memories and things that make me smile. The journals are what I … Continue reading Old Journals ~ an introduction
the temenos journal 