Today is the 4 month anniversary of my first post October 26, 2012. Three months ago I reformatted and moved that first post into the page THE PROLOGUE. That was a direct response to the reality of what this blog had become for me. The prologue was a sort of eulogy I wrote to give to the Anglican priest who was performing the service at Tim’s Dads church. She wanted to know something about him, from my perspective. It seemed an appropriate way to begin my blogging story.
The blogs original name was The Wilde Childe Journal (literary reference). However, one week on & a google search result listing porno sites, and concluded that was perhaps the wrong tone for my Journal. Temenos is a word I found back in those Helium Sphere days when I was delving into the animistic world of shamanism, archetypes and various other Jungian/Animistic philosophy and history. It resonated with me, as by then I had realized this blog was becoming more than a mere tool; it had become a sanctuary.
I opened my WordPress account perhaps a week or more before Tim died. My intentions were only to have somewhere to post my journal entries from our 2-year journey with his Pancreatic Cancer. That’s really all I had in mind. The hardcopy journal I was using had been one of two I bought over 15 years ago. The first one was lost two years back, and so I began again in this last; I had put it aside for my entries from Mom’s death. So the journal covers a fairly wide sweep, from October of 2001, then a few pages from 2010 and on to my last entries in 2012. I felt at the time the content was sufficient to stand on its own, so that is the format of those early postings through October and early November of last year [From the Beginning – October 28 2012].
I had done some research and looked at other blogging platforms, but choose WordPress for the professionalism of the WordPress community. I was also very attracted to the theme variations they offered, which I think are way above some of the other blogging platforms. The wordpress.org software/platform these posts are written with is fabulous too. The whole package gives me so much more freedom with my design than the others.
This blogging had also switched on the repressed web designer in me and seriously has me considering going back to school to become a Web Developer. Everything I know about web designing I taught myself back in the late 90’s. A Compuserve pal had gone off and created his Highlander Magazine and I became intrigued with the whole concept of websites, as my background was in ad design. For two years I worked creating the advertisements in our local community newspaper when I was in high school. I had originally gone to BealArt under the pretense of becoming a Graphic Designer – I came out a Photographer. I came out an Artist too, which BTW is no good if you need to pay the rent and buy food. Since I wasn’t about to compromise my integrity for my Art, I went out and found another way to make a living – I became a Library Tech. or Library Assistant as they used to be known.
Long story short, I’ve done a lot of things, been a lot of things. My last stint was 6 years in sales where I achieved President Club which was the highest sales honour awarded. It also garnered you a trip for 2 for four days in a 5 Star resort and a 500 credit card to use however you wanted. Our trip that year (April 2008) was to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Well, that year I realized once I hit that high I wasn’t that interested in sales – it wasn’t a passion. So I thankfully was laid off February of 2009 and eventually made my way to these four bohemian years with Tim at his Lake.
I am not the same person I was back on October 26, 2012. Right now I’m living in this in-between of my life as it was and the life I will lead going forward. Who will I be a year from now? That is the sweet mystery, is it not? I can plan, but oft times my spirit just takes me off on these journeys of the heart. I have never been able to refuse the scent of a challenge or the comfort of Love. Yet this time I do so desire some normalcy, just for a while, please. It would seem as though that wish is fruitless, as even just the moving aspect has become like wading through quicksand.
Also through this blogging journey, I have discovered a love of writing, and that is now weighing into my future goals, but in what way? I don’t know yet.
Last, but certainly not least, has been the community of souls I have encountered. All of you, the ones who like, comment or merely visit and like a puff of vapour are gone … each and everyone is a gift. The last thing on my mind when I started writing was who I would meet, what I would learn along the way. Through these last months, I have poured out my heart and soul. When I look back on some of those early posts I see 1 like for pages and pages. From the beginning there has been one faithful follower though, Linda – it is her comment you find at the bottom of that first post, THE PROLOGUE. She is an old family friend – our families have known each other from long before I was even born. In those early weeks I wrote, she read. I wrote, she read.
Then came all of you who are now reading these words. And I say, from the very bottom of my heart, sincerely to each and everyone one of you …