October 2010 ~ going home & back again

[Oct 19, 2010]       Beginning again I guess. Very appropriate I’m starting up in this journal. Lots happened since I started this.

Irish Lake is a long way away from Catherine St. It’s hard to do this starting over thingy. I can’t believe I’m here. There have been so many tears the last couple weeks. Too many goodbyes. Some sad and others necessary.

Tim came into my life I guess for a reason. There was a time I really needed him – but that is no more. I want truth. No more lies, manipulating and no more dependence .

I’ll miss the lake garden, I’ll miss the woods, I’ll miss the people. Its now or never if I’m to make something of this life. No more hiding away in my garden.
“I’m sad, but I’m glad.
I”m home, but I’m far away. {what’s that from btw?}

[Oct 20, 2010]          Up at 5:30 today – went for my power-walk at 7am. Been doing it everyday since I’ve been home.

Home – what a concept – not that long ago I had convinced myself I had found that at the cottage. I had just decided that my suspicions were groundless – foolish me.

I Imagine Tim still  holds some hope that I’ll change my mind. In some parts of myself I wish I could. But, its gone too far I think. I told him he needed to be honest with me – yet still he continuous.

[Oct 21, 2010]         Love this “She can’t take you anywhere you don’t already know how to go.” The Eagles.

[Dec 9 20A frozen lake10]

  • Lake Frozen over – even animal tracks out approx. 400 ft out.
  • Meaford still getting flurries
  • London 90 cm, Lucan 144 cm, collingwood 100cm+
  • Shovelled the drive yesterday & path to shed & deck – snow nice and light

[Dec 10, 2010]

  • The DOGWOOD (Red Osier) I cut, I put some inside in a jar of water – they have wee little leaves and are forming flower buds ;-)
  • Irish not staying outside this morn – more then 15-20 min @ a time only.

Next — Then & Now

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