You’ve inched your way forward these last four months. You eased your way, gently and not, into my life. I tried to be rid of you once in that time, to no avail; you were determined. What did you want from me? I may never know. What you got was the realist me I could be. I’m hot and I’m cold, I’m lazy and energetic, … Continue reading To Mr.Blue.Eyes
Well Mom, some weight or anxiety, or something, has lifted. Some facet of my inner workings opened a window, and released the hounding obsession of this silly last entanglement I found myself within. On my way to work yesterday morn, I felt freer than I had for days. It does take me awhile, as you know, to digest emotions, and I can so easily ignore … Continue reading Within The Labyrinth Of The Lost
Sitting at the stoop I suck on my cylinders-of-sin, appreciating the spectacular, the mundane, and I have embraced happiness once again. I read today the line “be happy for no reason, because then there is nothing to take“. I am impatient, as the distraction recently pointed out. So no mr.blue.eyes at my door, nor text, nor one peep from that corner. The only regret I have … Continue reading Getting Lost In Possible Horizons
I finally broke down and posted an old photo of Grandma at the beach to this community page which has just over 12,000 members. I was shy to post to such a huge group of strangers, but I finally just couldn’t resist. This is one of those from the ill-fated old negatives they found up in the attic a few years ago. You know Mom, … Continue reading The Man Behind The Lens
I remember you telling me how when I began to talk, I’d pick a word and say that word all day; repeating it over and over, like my daily mantra. I wonder if it was because I had so very much to say, that I just started as early as I could? Could be. Even as a teenager I told you probably a lot more than most kids … Continue reading My Mom And Me
“What do you do when the one person you want comfort from the most is the one who caused your pain? How can I want so desperately for him to wrap me up in his arms but also want so much for him to leave me alone.” ― Amanda Grace, But I Love Him Mom, soon, soon it will be all but a memory, and … Continue reading Twas A Fine Romance
I promised I would Mom, so here goes. Last night I was awoken at 1am by a Mr.Blue.Eyes text. For someone who hates texting he certainly utilizes it quite often as his primary means of communication. So after more back and forth, and after being up till around 3am tossing and turning, feeling rather tired this morn. He won’t go away easily. Says I’ve sold … Continue reading More Of The Same
“She was convinced that women were as often victims of themselves as they were of men.” ― John Irving, A Widow for One Year Well Mom, I’ve decided to write you everyday this week. At least that’s the plan. I’m so bad at this part of a break-up – moving on. I have this obsessive tendency to think too much, which leads to frustration, which … Continue reading On Pruning the Dead And Departed
Oh Mom, this guys’ had me all in knots all weekend, now its Monday morning and maybe I’ve recovered my senses. Maybe it was some elaborate test I’d unconsciously devised? Well, regardless, I finally came to terms with the truth. After looking at the whole picture, the one thing I could not deny is that his actions and words were at odds with one another. … Continue reading Words Or Deeds?
Mom, you won’t be too surprised I would imagine to discover I spent the last 24 hours obsessively analyzing this crazy path I’m on. Underneath our feet as we danced, I was almost swept away by his maybe smiles. So I’m working away at unravelling it all. “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest … Continue reading Love In A Time Of Rhinopharyngitis
Why is it that some men just can’t deal with their emotions, and why on earth do I attract them like flies? Tell me that Mom. Why? So Mr.Blue.Eyes leaves his phone at my place the other night, and so I leave early for work the next morning to drop it off, and he’s not there. Then I get off a stop early and go … Continue reading Yeah, Me Too
Ok, well finally broke down last week and took my arse to the clinic to rid myself of the cold that’s been haunting the halls of my employment, myself included. Yup, bacterial infection. Nice. Throat all red, chest phlegmy. Could hardly swallow one day early last week from the vile plague that has stuck with me for weeks now. So, that’s finally over with, then the nice … Continue reading ‘By the fruits shall you know the roots’, the Angels say
So Mom, in homage to you, I was up Halloween night till 3am kvetching and such at an old friends. In our midnight ramblings she reminded me of how messed up I was after I separated, and left our little block at the Coves. Totally lost touch with them you know Mom, and I’m ashamed of that, cause she is a true friend. I just turned … Continue reading On Friends, And Things Forgotten
by PaulaB 