The last couple of months I have wandered about, picking at the fringes, ran my eyes across a multitude of words, nourished my brain with histories of civilizations and empires, in search of ‘it’. I suppose it is hard to find ‘it’ when you have no idea what ‘it’ is. I hesitate to define this sense as depression, if only because I believe that word … Continue reading A Blessed Bench Of Boredom
I was asleep when the phone rang, when the nurses at the hospital called to say, “its time”. So about 20 minutes from now, as I write these words, 20 minutes and 5 years, it will be. And how time has danced by, with new friends, new home, new me. I received the anniversary notification last month, which marks the day I registered with WordPress, … Continue reading Weeping And Dancing And Grieving And Leaving
So for part three of this best of series I chose this one I suppose because of its truth and healing. This series took me back to one of the most difficult times, at the close of the 20th century. Posted originally January 2nd, 2013, was another time of great change. I guess I am proudest of these posts. After the Helium posts I carried … Continue reading The Best Of ¦ part 3 in three parts
§ Part Two § On foot, camera in hand, the landscape surrounded me. With gently rising pastures, broken only by hedgerows and ancient split rail fences. The only sound, the birds and the crunch of the gravel underfoot. Those days will be remembered as much for their dichotomy, as for the grief. Suppose, really, all four years with Tim were the best of times, and … Continue reading The Random Happiness Files ~/~ And Around And Around We Go
§ Part One § The year was 1989, and we had moved there from this dinky attic apartment downtown. This new place was spacious, backing onto the Thames, with generous size rooms, high ceilings, and neat architectural features. Oh, and it had a back deck. It was there we first brought the kittens home, and named them Gizmo and Shoe. It was there that my … Continue reading The Random Happiness Files ~/~ When The Walls Came Tumbling Down
Dear GOD, make it stop. This whirlwind of emotional turmoil, this up, and down, and up, and down. Turns, and twists, and happy bliss, and then deep dives into this sorrow that I don’t think I could possibly describe sufficiently, but to say the intensity can be overwhelming. The madness of menopause has overtaken me, and I am what could be termed sometimes an emotional … Continue reading Menopause Madness And Me
Well Mom, it will be two years today I first posted to this blog, and thus was born The Temenos Journal. It was eight days after Tim’s death, and there I was all alone, staring out the window at an autumnal world. There was the lake, still in its calm cedar ringed glory, surrounded by things that would soon become a distant memory, I ventured out … Continue reading It’s Just Another Sunday
Hi Mom, I decided that maybe the best way to tell these stories I’m collecting is to tell them to you. It was for you I decided to start this research, so it seems apt that to you I should tell them to. The whole deep dive into the past helped me to cope with the loss of you, and do you know how often I’ve said to myself, … Continue reading Who Was David?
Life has a way of pushing you to face things you had thought too painful to face. Sunday was supposed to be my gardening day, however, I was stood up, this time though by a friend. He was supposed to come over and help me haul bags of dirt back here so I could get my raised veggie/herb garden started – he never showed. Not … Continue reading Walking Past Memories
You ever get that feeling that you’re insignificant? Some days I’m the master of my domain, and god help anyone who gets in my way. Other days? Well, other days, not so much. Amidst the normalcy that encompassed my upbringing, I managed to gain a certain sense of self-importance. Go figure. It’s all about this silly notion that my needs and desires are worthy of … Continue reading Worn Velvet and Butterfly Farts
I awoke really early this morning, and couldn’t imagine wasting another precious moment lounging about. So at 4AM there I was with my coffee thinking… What Do I Want to Write About Today? AUSTRALIA was the first thing that came to mind. So be it, I will Make It So. The person I was then was full of hope and dreams of greatness, big or small. I … Continue reading My Doppleganger Strikes Again
Good grief, make it stop. Today I fear will be just as the R of T&R forecasted … we are in for a wallop of snow. It’s Grey County in all its glory. T&R are the earth angels who live down the street. They are my lifesaving chauffeur into the bright & booming village to buy my supplies. They have truly been wonderful since Tim … Continue reading Fiddle-dee-dee & Snowflakes
In that tired myth of vision and circumspect we strive to create our Noble Lie; In the blanket of time we are its prisoners. This was a time of long, billowy sheer curtains, orange rag walls, and a trio of pianos. It was a time of wine, symphony’s and lying on matching floral pattern love-seats whilst listening to “Monday Night Playhouse” on CBC Radio. We … Continue reading The Lady of the Cellar | Conclusion
by PaulaB 